“I’m okay. You can stop this now.” My voice is trembling.
“You’re not fine, Olivia. You’re living on borrowed time!” he suddenly shouts, the vein in his forehead pulsing.
Ice suddenly fills my body, and all the color drains from my face. I’m too scared to turn around and face Roman. Even though my hand is resting on his chest, I can’t physically feel him anymore. It’s like he’s somehow managed to sever our connection and detach himself. My chest squeezes, like it’s in a vise, as pressure builds behind my eyelids.
And just like that, my neighbor steps back, away from me. Slowly, I turn, taking in the tight expression on his face.
“What the fuck is he talking about, Liv?” Rome demands. His tone is calm, but his eyes, they’re a riot of emotions. He’s seething, his face turning a scary shade of red, as he tries to contain his anger. My eyes slam shut, and my stomach drops.
This is what I wanted to avoid. Everything I’ve tried to keep hidden from Rome is coming out, and the look of betrayal on his face guts me. Tears burn the backs of my eyes, swimming before me, distorting his figure. My bottom lip quivers, as I try to suppress my emotions.
“You didn’t tell him?” Reid scoffs, realizing he just dropped a bomb. “Of course, you didn’t. This is just like you. You’re so irresponsible with your health.”
“Because I want to live!” I shout, emotion clogging my throat. “I refuse to let this…this diagnosis keep me from living a normal life. I can’t walk on eggshells forever. I just want to be normal.” My voice cracks, the wall I was building around my emotions crumbles, and the tears carve hot trails down my cheeks.
“I’m outta here,” Reid grumbles, leaving Rome and me.
I can’t bring myself to look at him, at first. I shouldn’t have to feel this way, but a part of me still feels guilty for not telling him the truth. After everything he’s shared with me about his life and his little brother, I kept my biggest secret from him.
Two of my biggest secrets.
Clasping my trembling hands together for strength, I swallow back the tears that are clogging my throat. “You have to believe me, Rome. I was going to tell you, I swear. I just needed a little more time, that’s all.”
Roman’s nostrils flare. Hurt flashes behind those blue eyes. “You’re lying. You were never going to tell me, were you?”
A sob bursts past my lips, and I shake my head. “No, I promise you, I was. I just didn’t want to ruin this.” I close the distance between us and reach out for him, ignoring the torrent of tears streaking down my face. “I love you, Rome.”
For the first time, Rome looks like he’s in actual pain. He winces at my words, and the muscle in his jaw clenches. I rush on, needing him to hear me. Needing him to understand just what this relationship has turned into for me.
“For the longest time, I thought hate was the only four-letter word I’d ever feel when it came to you. I hated the way you talked to me when we first met. And the way you smirked, God, did I hate that. I hate the way you drive that god-forsaken motorcycle like it’s not a death trap. I hate it when you stare for too long. I hate your big dumb cars that you love. And the way you read my mind. I hate the way you stay in my head. The way you always know what to say. I hate it when you make me laugh when I’m trying to stay angry with you. But you and I both know none of that is true. I don’t hate you at all, Rome. I never have. I just hate the way you make me love you. I hate the way you make me feel anything at all.”
“You love me?” He laughs without humor. “You kept something as monumental as your health away from me. Do you really expect me to believe you love me? You didn’t trust me with that information, is that it? Didn’t think I’d be able to handle it?”
I choke on a sob. “No! That is not it. I’ve seen you with Ryder, and you are incredible. I just…I didn’t want my issues getting in the way. You’ve worked so hard to get him back, and I didn’t want to be another weight for you to bear on