and the guilt comes, but I don’t see images of my parents’ lifeless bodies. Instead, I see the look in Nasser’s eyes. The aggression as he takes what he wants from me.
I escaped, and because of that, my parents might die.
I open my eyes to escape the nightmare.
“You’re awake. Your parents are still in surgery. But your siblings are here. They will want to see you. I’ll go get them,” Nicole, according to her name tag visible on her chest.
The tattooed older boy at the end of my hospital bed insists on marrying Abri to my total dismay.
I spot Abri coming around the corner. He can’t marry her. She’ll destroy him. She’s only looking for a rich man. She will take all of his money in a divorce, or kill him if his life insurance policy is worth enough. She will do anything to survive. Those were the words she spoke.
Anything to survive.
I understand now. After what Nasser did, I will do anything to take away the pain I feel.
I won’t let Knight feel a similar pain.
I yank on his hand until he falls forward toward my bed and then I kiss him. As soon as our lips touch, I’m lost. I don’t know if it’s the drugs I’m on or him, but I’ve never felt so desperate. I want him. His lips are soft and perfect. And when I push my tongue into his mouth, he moans softly before he realizes what’s happening.
He pulls away with a stunned look.
My eyes drift behind him to Abri, who looks like she’s going to punch someone or throw up.
Knight turns to her. “I love you, Abri. She took me by surprise. I think she thinks I’m someone else. She’s on a lot of painkillers.”
Abri looks at me, and a gracious smile covers her face as she turns back to Knight. They walk toward each other, meeting in the middle. He kisses her with a passion I wish he would kiss me with. Their kiss kicks my kiss’ ass.
Their kiss is between two people who love each other.
Maybe I was wrong. Maybe Abri truly loves Knight if she’s willing to look past a mistake like this so easily.
They are a perfect couple. They have what I want.
And my life is in shambles. My family will blame me for tonight, and they will be right.
I need to tell someone about Nasser.
I need to tell Knight what I know so he can make the best decision about Abri.
I need to…turn all the pain off.
I close my eyes and shut off the world.
I shut off Nasser. I shut out my parents’ corpses. I shut out Ren, Henry, and Abri. And I force Knight’s kiss from my lips. This night didn’t happen. I will not remember.
Present
“That night was my fault,” I whisper.
“No, it was Nasser’s fault. You never pressed charges against him?”
I shake my head. “Until recently, I didn’t even remember the details of what happened. Only the newspaper clippings and stories my siblings told me.”
Knight kisses my cheek as we sit in my car. “You shouldn’t have kissed me that night.”
I look at him with sadness. “You shouldn’t have kissed me and gotten me fired, either.”
“I thought you would remember you tried to save me with a kiss.”
I smile. “I couldn’t remember you without remembering the pain.”
He kisses my lips again gently.
“Both of those kisses were so perfect, yet so destructive,” I whisper against his lips.
We kiss again.
“If I had felt anything less than love for Abri, I would have been mesmerized with you after that kiss.”
“And if I hadn’t lost my scholarship and ability to finish school after your kiss, I would have fallen for you then.”
Another kiss unites us, each of us promising we will let nothing come between us.
“How could I forget you?” I whisper.
“Because you had to survive the pain and guilt. It wasn’t your fault.”
I nod. It will take me a while for the guilt of what happened to vanish completely. And the pain of everything I lost that night will only ease with time. But in the meantime, we have each other.
We get out of the car in Cole’s parking lot.
“You realize neither of us has any money or a job now,” Knight says.
“Speak for yourself, I have two hundred dollars in my bank account, and a job as Cole’s assistant.”
Knight laughs. “That’s more than I have.”
I pull him to me. “I would live on the streets with you if it means I get to have you.”