Hate Me or Love Me - Ella Miles Page 0,182

about to say she’s changed her mind and doesn’t want me to fuck her.

She closes her eyes and then opens them, like the time closed was needed to give her the strength to say her next words. “How long?”

I move all of my attention back to her. I hate seeing her this vulnerable. Her eyes, so full with fear of what my answer will be. Knowing I could break her with my answer.

I tuck her hair behind her ear, and stroke it slowly, my eyes and body trying to be as vulnerable in return to her. Because of all the things I’ve told her. All the honesty I’ve given her, she needs to know, this is the most honest I’ve ever been.

“More than a year.”

She exhales like that was the answer she needed. It is also completely the truth.

“Even longer if you only count the last time I was in love and felt anything real.”

She touches her fingers gently to my lips. “This is real. I may hate you, and you may despise me, but what we are feeling now is real. It may not be love, but it’s something more. A passion and connection we will never experience again.”

I lower my lips to hers. Kissing her carefully and passionately. “It’s more than anything I’ve ever experienced.”

And it’s the truth. I’ve experienced love, passion, pain. But whatever this is, it’s greater than all of it.

It’s pleasure, and safety, and need, and love, and pain, and passion, and hate, and honesty. It’s everything combined. It’s what Mila and I are together. A connection that can’t be tied to a time or place. A link I haven’t been able to escape since the first time I saw her.

We both open our eyes at the same time, and I push inside her both gently and all at once. I fill her, just as quickly as she filled my heart. I can’t escape Mila Burns, ever.

Her mouth opens wide in a cry of pain as I push her open. I kiss her, my tongue whisking her away to a place of pleasure as her body adjusts to my size inside her.

Our fingers intertwine together as I slowly pull all the way out of her, before slamming into her again. Her back arches as she pulls me inside her deeper. I could get lost in the depth of her. Mila has so many layers, and I’ve barely explored the surface. But it’s now that I realize she will let me in all the way, even though she knows she will get burned. We both will.

“Come on me, pretty girl.”

She does, and I follow suit.

I collapse on top of her, but I’m nowhere near finished with her.

I pull us both off the bed and carry Mila to the bathroom, into the shower. I turn the water on that chills us at first before slowly turning to heat.

I spin her around, so her back is to my front, as I let the water stream down her front. My hand hooks around her stomach and down to her most sensitive bud, playing with her slowly and torturously.

Mila started opening up to me before, but I’m afraid she may close to me now.

“What happened with Abri? What did she tell you?”

Mila leans her head back against my chest as I strum her further.

“She told me the man she married was a monster.”

It’s the truth. I was a monster. Mila is telling me the truth, without saying exactly what happened. I taught her that move. And I don’t get to push her further. Mila is hiding the truth while being completely honest.

“What do you think of me?”

“I think my knight isn’t the same person as Abri’s husband.”

I nod and push Abri out of my head as I make Mila come in the shower. Then in my bed two more times before I know she is spent and can’t handle another.

I tuck Mila into my bed as I sit on the edge. Mila is hiding what Abri said. And if I can’t learn the truth from Mila, I’m going to have to get it from Abri.

“Stay,” she whispers.

It goes against everything in my body to leave her. I want to hold her against my body all night. Memorize her scent and the sounds she makes as she sleeps. I want to protect her all night long, and then let her ride me in the morning.

But the only way to truly protect her is for her to hate me. She’ll hate me

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