not be on the same wavelength when it comes to money, but she’s my best friend for a reason. We get each other, even if we don’t always agree. And I think that matters more sometimes—loving someone even if you both have different ideas of perfect. Because everyone has a different idea of what’s good and bad. Perfect is overrated—it’s our flaws that make us human.
I don’t want to be perfect. I want to be vulnerable and messy and free and wild. I want to experience all the crooked edges in the world, and make mistakes, and grow from them. I want twisty roads and dark corners and big, wide bends.
And I know my parents won’t ever agree, but I wish they could at least see my version of the world as a possibility.
I force the thoughts from my head and smile at my friend. “As long as nobody brings up anything to do with politics in front of my grandpap, the dinner will be fine,” I say, walking beside her toward the exit. Grandpap has strong opinions, and one of those opinions is that having opinions means he’s entitled to share them.
The warm blast of the Las Vegas sun hits me when I push the metal door open. Everywhere has air-conditioning in Vegas, so the first few steps back into the heat always feel good.
But then you reach the furnace that is somehow your car, burn yourself on the seat belt, and remember why you loathe the long summers times infinity.
Chloe shoves a pair of exaggerated cat-eyed sunglasses onto her face and turns to me seriously. Except it’s hard to take her seriously when she looks like a villain out of an old James Bond movie. “Promise me we’ll still do this after school starts.”
I scrunch my face in surprise. “What, come to the gym?” Chloe cares about physical fitness as much as I care about AP Calculus.
“No, not the gym.” She clicks her tongue against the roof of her mouth like she’s scolding me. “I mean this.” She moves her finger between the two of us. “You and me, hanging out like we’re still kids, even when we’re not. Promise me that you going off to college won’t be the end of us.”
I feel sulky just thinking about school. I’d hoped an aerial workout would distract me, but I’d forgotten what it’s like in the weeks leading up to a new academic year. It’s all anyone talks about.
“It’s not like we haven’t gone to different schools before. It doesn’t mean our friendship is in jeopardy,” I point out, and the words taste sour, like an underripe lie.
Because I’m not sure what the future holds, but it can’t contain school. It just can’t.
She hums into the sunshine, oblivious to how there’s anguish and desperation creeping around in the pit of my stomach. “You say that, but you’ve never gone to college before. I have three older siblings—it’s a different world.”
A world I don’t want anything to do with.
“Not to mention you’ve always had that look in your eyes, like you were going to fly away at any moment,” she says with a grin, and I can’t tell if she’s joking or not.
I force a smile. “You don’t need to worry. We’re like Ash and Pikachu—nothing is going to break us up.”
Chloe pulls her lip up like she’s snarling. “Can we be Thelma and Louise instead?”
“Way too obvious. Besides, they have the most depressing ending ever.”
“Ash Ketchum has literally spent over two decades trying to become a Pokémon Master. That’s depressing.”
“You’re missing the entire point of his journey, but okay.”
Chloe’s laugh is all bubblegum pop. Light. Happy. Carefree. She stops in front of her car and pulls her keys out of her bag. “If you save some birthday cake, I’ll come over in the morning and we can eat it for breakfast.”
“Deal,” I say.
She waves before ducking into her car, and I walk across the parking lot to the white Toyota Yaris Mom and Dad bought right after graduation. They made it very clear it isn’t my car—it’s just on loan while I go to school because my university is in-state and they’re way too busy to chauffeur me around the city.
I wonder what will happen if I don’t show up to class. Will they take the car away? And how will I get to the gym to train? And will my parents really kick me out of the house and make me figure out a way to pay rent,