“Don’t say it. If you say it out loud, it will only make it worse.” She sighs and looks around me as if to make sure nobody is coming. “Please don’t tell anyone. I swear I’m not doing anything sneaky behind your parents’ backs. He just showed up here out of nowhere. But I know what it will look like, and I don’t want the drama.”
I frown. “What did he want?”
She bites her lip. “He offered me a job. He says his aerialist keeps threatening to quit, and he wants to replace her with someone better.”
“Well, that’s quite a compliment. I mean, Maison du Mystère is the most famous traveling circus in the country,” I say.
“And also the shadiest,” Tatya points out almost accusingly. “Everyone knows Simon travels around poaching performers and stealing ideas. He gets away with it because his show is always on the move, but trust me, people in the industry hate him with a passion. Which is why I don’t want anyone to know he approached me. It’ll just upset everyone, especially with all the stress of getting ready for a new season.”
“I won’t tell anyone,” I promise, “but—do you want the job?”
“No!” Tatya practically barks. “Not in a million years. I love it here—this is my family.” She sighs. “Will you do me a favor? Throw this away for me?” She holds out the card toward me. “If I throw it away here, someone might see it. And I don’t want it in my bag—I don’t want you thinking that I’m even for a second considering his offer.”
I shake my head quickly, sensing the genuine worry in her eyes. “That’s really not necessary. I believe you.”
Her arm doesn’t budge. “Please. It will make me feel better.”
I take the card from her and hold it in the air. “Fine, fine. I’ll burn it when I get home, okay?”
Tatya laughs. “Okay. Thank you. And thanks for coming to my rescue, too.”
When I’m back in the car, I tilt the card and watch the metallic gleam move across the words like a magical wave. And when I flip the card over, I find a phone number on the back.
I hate that the thought even crosses my mind—I hate that I’m so desperate to chase my dream that I could even imagine it—but it occurs to me that Simon Tarbottle is looking for a new aerialist, and maybe that aerialist could be me.
And then I force the horrible desire from my thoughts and shove the card into my glove box.
Hidden in the darkness, where bad ideas belong.
CHAPTER FOUR
Harley! Can you get the door? It’s probably your grandpap,” Mom shouts from somewhere in the kitchen.
I close the lid on my laptop—and the unfinished document listing all the reasons I need my parents to support me—and make my way downstairs.
The next half hour is a blur of hugging one family member after another. Grandpap arrives first, like Mom guessed, but Aunt Adeline, Uncle Henry, and my three very loud cousins turn up before I’ve even closed the door.
Aunty Michiko and her new boyfriend follow soon after, and then Aunty Ayako, Uncle Jesse, my older cousin Matty; his girlfriend, Taylor; and their toddler, Isabella. Popo rings the doorbell last, and I’m really not surprised—she likes to make an entrance.
“Happy birthday, Harley Yoshi.” Popo coos like I’m still a little kid. She’s the only one who ever uses my middle name—which is a family name and doesn’t exclusively belong to a Nintendo character. Having to point out to people over the years that I was named after my late grandmother and not a famous green dinosaur has been the bane of my childhood.
My middle name is also pretty much the only part of me that reflects my Japanese heritage, even if it is a quarter of my blood.
I’m a quarter Chinese, too, but I have no name to show for it. Even Popo’s first name is Jane, so sometimes it feels like there’s this dormant part of me I’ve never had a chance to learn about. It doesn’t fully make sense—belonging to these different cultures, but not really belonging.
You know those refillable soda machines at fast-food places? When I was a kid, I used to add a little bit of everything in—7UP, Dr Pepper, Pepsi, raspberry iced tea—whatever they had, I’d mix it all in. But when it was all mixed together, it wasn’t really 7UP anymore, or Dr Pepper, or Pepsi, or raspberry iced tea.