Hard Pass by Sara Ney Page 0,3

sit on the counter, forcing myself to slow my pace though my heart beats as wildly as it does when I’m on the field and a batter is about to take his first swing. Uncertainty and anticipation flood through my veins like a tidal wave.

From 555-4439: Hey there, yes the card is still available. I will not ship it—are you local enough for a pick up?

Me: Cool, relieved it’s available—that is great news for me. I guess local depends on where you live?

555-4439: I’m in DuPage County. What about you?

Me: That doesn’t narrow it down—DuPage is huge. I’m in Chicago, in the suburbs.

555-4439: Actually in Chicago? Or are you one of those people who SAYS they live in Chicago but really they’re an hour north and just like to brag that they live in the city?

Yup, okay. There is no way this is an old lady—she’s way too sassy. Unless the name Randi in the ad was a typo and the name is actually Randall. Or Ray. Or…

Me: I’m 8 miles from downtown, an hour if the traffic is horrible. I’m in Barrington Heights. You know where that is?

555-4439: I do. I’m actually not far from there, but no one is coming to my house. I don’t need to be assaulted or murdered for a baseball card.

Yup. Definitely a young woman. Men don’t worry about being assaulted and murdered when they’re selling shit on the internet. Most of them should, but most of them do not.

Me: Totally get that. I’m willing to meet you somewhere neutral, like the library or a gas station.

555-4439: A gas station? Um, no. That’s shady too. You know the price on this card is firm, right?

Me: Yes ma’am. I mean sir.

Randi ignores my attempt to get more info about the person I’m texting with.

555-4439: How do you plan on paying? I could probably do CashPal or QuickPay.

Me: Would cash work?

555-4439: I mean…yes. Are you serious? You’re going to pay with cash? Is that smart? What if I rob you blind and keep the card?

I laugh, causing Wallace to look over at me with a scowl. “Oh, sorry, Your HindAss, am I interrupting your show? In my living room…in my house…while you drink my beer?”

“Yeah,” the jackass says. “Yeah, you are disturbing me. Pipe it down with the giggles—it’s weird.”

I was not giggling, but whatever.

Me: You know what they say: Cash is king, baby.

555-4439: Right, but what if I jump you and leave you lying there?

Me: That’s really dramatic. Besides, I can outrun you.

555-4439: Pfft, how do you know?

Me: Trust me. I can outrun you.

He—or she—has no idea she’s talking to a guy who can run all the bases on a field, from home plate and back, in under seventeen seconds flat.

555-4439: You sound pretty confident for someone I’ve never met. For all you know, I’m an Olympic sprinter.

Me: Are you?

555-4439: No.

555-4439: Why’d you have to go and ask that? You took the wind out of my sails.

I resist the urge to banter back—it’s tempting, so, so tempting—but I need to get back on track, i.e. discussing the card.

Me: Where have you been keeping the card and where’d you get it?

555-4439: It’s in a plexiglass box, always has been. I’ve never taken it out, not even to clean it.

Clean it! Hell no. Bad idea.

Me: Yeah don’t do that. Don’t ever clean a baseball card.

555-4439: The card was my grandfathers. I have his entire collection in a safe deposit box.

Safe deposit box? Who even uses those anymore?

No one, that’s who.

Me: What are you doing with the other cards? How many are there?

I’m interested to know which players she has and what she wants for them—before she lists them one by one on the damn internet.

555-4439: Quite a few legends. Maybe a dozen total that are worth anything, the rest aren’t players anyone cares about.

I’ll be the judge of that—I care about each and every one of them. I would be willing to give her a price for the collection as a whole, if she’s willing to entertain it.

I get why she’s selling them one at a time—in this day and age, no one would be willing to give her what the collection is probably worth. Six figures at least.

I have cash to spare and I’m itching to spend it on history. If the rest of the cards are in as excellent condition as the Hank Archer seems to be, I want to see them. In person, close up.

Me: Have you figured out a price for the entire