Hard Line - Pamela Clare Page 0,87
into tenderness.
She broke the silence. “I wish I could freeze time and make tonight last forever.”
He kissed her hair. “Yeah.”
“That was a really nice dinner. Prime rib at the Pole. You guys looked so embarrassed when people stood up and cheered for you.”
“We’re not used to that. We were just doing our jobs.”
She was quiet for a moment. “What’s going to happen after you leave?”
“You’ll be able to focus on your work discovering galaxies, and I’ll probably make a half-dozen trips to the Middle East.” That was after he completed physical therapy and was medically cleared.
“No, I meant what’s going to happen to us? Most relationships on the ice are over when people get on the plane, but I don’t want this to end.”
How like Samantha to come right out with it, to be so open.
“Neither do I, but six months is a long time. You might not feel the same way in November. Crisis situations can make people feel close quickly, but the emotion doesn’t always last once the adrenaline is gone.”
She sat up. “Are you saying you don’t want to stay in touch?”
The absurdity of it made him laugh. “God, no. That’s not what I mean at all. I want to stay in touch—email, Zoom, whatever. I just don’t want you to feel burdened.”
“Burdened?”
“I know you’re going to be lonely without Patty, and if you need to take comfort with someone, I hope to be a big enough man to accept that.”
She gaped at him. “Are you giving me permission to have sex with other men? That’s a Danish thing, isn’t it?”
He supposed it was rather Danish of him. “You don’t need my permission.”
Her expression fell. “Does that mean you want to have sex with other women?”
Okay, he wasn’t doing a very good job with this.
He sat up, too, tucked a silky strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t plan on having sex with anyone until I see you again. But I’m not the one who lost my best friend and was almost murdered by someone I trusted. You’ve been through hell, Samantha. I just want you to do what you need to do to take care of yourself. I don’t want you to be lonely or afraid at night. If you need someone to hold you, I will do my best to understand. I care too much about you to see you unhappy.”
He didn’t tell her that he’d changed his will so that she was his beneficiary if the plane went down on his way home or he were killed in action on another assignment. He had no heirs and no siblings, and his parents sure as hell didn’t need the money. He felt good knowing that she would be taken care of should anything happen to him.
She seemed to consider his words. “God, you’re sweet, but the only man I want is flying out on a damned plane tomorrow.”
He cupped her cheek, kissed her. “Then don’t talk about tomorrow. Let’s make the most of tonight.”
Samantha stood with Thor inside Destination Alpha, fighting not to cry. “You’ll let me know when you’re safely back home?”
“Count on it.” His brow furrowed. “You have friends here, Samantha. These people care about you. You don’t need Patty to open doors for you any longer. Ryan and Kristi both promised to look after you. Let them help you.”
Kristi stood not far away, crying, she and Malik locked in an embrace.
Samantha nodded, tears coming at last. “You stay safe. Do you hear me? No heroic sacrifices, no more getting shot.”
His lips quirked in a lopsided grin that melted her heart. “I’ll do my best.”
From outside the station came the sound of the approaching plane, and staff began to gather to say goodbye.
If only she could freeze time. If only she could replay last night.
At least he’d left her one of his T-shirts. It smelled like him.
Lev stuck his head through the door. “He’s landing. Let’s move out.”
“They have to refuel,” Jones fired back. “Chill, man!”
Thor kissed Samantha, soft and slow, then wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. “You’re going to be okay.”
“I know. I’m just going to miss you.” She hesitated then blurted the words. “I love you, Thor. There. I said it, and I won’t take it back.”
He kissed her again, a tender sweet kiss—but he didn’t tell her that he loved her.
She told herself she wasn’t surprised. He’d been straight with her from the start. He wasn’t the kind of man who played for keeps. Still,