Hard Knox - Riley Hart Page 0,23
saying.
“For what?”
“This…the conversation and going with us today. How you were with Logan at the clinic and what you told him. He’s taken a liking to you. There’s some disconnect between us right now. He doesn’t talk to me the way he used to, and I think he sees me as, I don’t know, something other. Like maybe I’m part of the problem? And I don’t want to be…or know what I did wrong. Argh.” I dropped my head back and looked at the ceiling.
“Hey.” Callum reached out and put a hand on my bicep. I looked down at him. “You’re not part of the problem. You love that kid like crazy. Anyone can see it. He knows it. He loves you too. He looks up to you. I think it’s him who feels other right now, and he doesn’t know how to deal with that. I’ve felt it before.”
“Do you think he’s gay?”
“Because he’s small and doesn’t like to build stuff and connected with me?”
Guilt slammed into my chest. Hearing it repeated that way made me feel all kinds of wrong. “No, I didn’t mean that. Did it sound like I meant it that way?”
Callum shrugged. “I’m probably oversensitive to it. Would it be okay if he was?”
“Yes,” immediately fell from my lips. He was my son. I would always love him.
“Then if he is, he’s already a step ahead of a lot of queer kids. That’s a good thing. Time will tell. Maybe he knows, and maybe he doesn’t. Maybe he is, and maybe he isn’t. Love him and support him and let him know you’re here for him.”
I nodded, and Callum dropped his hand away. Damned if I didn’t feel again like I missed the contact. “Thanks,” I said for the second time. “I’m glad you’re here. That we met you.”
“I’ll help with Logan in any way I can. He’s a great kid.”
“I didn’t mean just for him.” The words came out with no direction, no thought from me. “I mean…you know what I mean.”
“I do. Because we’re friends and I’m determined to make you laugh and open up your world, remember? I can be like…your gay best friend. Though you have Lawson, but I can be your other one.”
“Or you can just be my friend. No gay in front of it, the same way Law’s just my friend.”
He looked up at me and smiled, this huge happy smile that told me I’d said the right thing. I liked the feeling, felt it radiate through my chest before settling into my bones.
“You’re good at this friendship thing.” Callum opened the door, then hooked his arm through mine. “Come on, Lumberjack. Let’s go play with Logan and Frankie Blue.”
In that moment, there was nothing I wanted more.
CHAPTER NINE
Callum
Last night with Knox, Logan, and Frankie Blue had been…well, I didn’t truly have the words for exactly what it had been. Surprising was one. Fun was another. Also comfortable, silly, happy, perfect. I was in deep already, and honestly, a little worried about myself. I’d done well in my thirty-three years not to be that guy who falls for a straight man. I’d had plenty of hetero friends, and the guys had always been strictly in the friendship zone, but I knew myself well enough to know how easily I could fall for Knox.
There was something about him—sexy lumberjack look aside. He was kind. He loved his son fiercely and had told me about Charlotte too. You could tell he couldn’t wait for his daughter to visit over the summer. Knox said she was a spitfire—sassy, confident, and smart. He was sure she’d be president one day, which was a dream of hers. He was also funny, sometimes a little quiet. You could tell that the emotional stuff was harder for him to share, but he did it. There was no doubt in my mind that was for a reason, and he made an effort toward being more open.
So yeah, I was fucked, and if we kept hanging out, I would likely end up with my first straight-guy heartbreak.
After a good stretch, I climbed out of bed and went into the kitchen. It wasn’t until I noticed Mom wasn’t home that I realized I’d forgotten to call her last night. Not that I had to; I was a grown-up, after all. But I’d told her I would. Guilt grew slowly, starting deep in my gut. I hadn’t come in until late last night. She’d already been asleep.
Turning around, I went