chose her boyfriend Derrick over us. She didn’t want to let the love for another man go but at the end of it all, he was the one who’d let her go. He was the one who fucked her over.
When our dad died she told me every day it was in God’s plan . . . but what was his plan for taking both of my parents away from me? What did he want from me? I couldn’t figure out why my life had to be so miserable. I’ve done some minor things in the past—things most people would look over—but I never thought it would amount to this. Pain. Grief. Heartache. I can’t believe I’m experiencing another death of someone so close to my heart—my mother, of all people.
I feel like a pussy for weeping but I can’t stop. I can’t seem to get over the reality of it. Both of my parents are gone and they’re never coming back.
Chapter Five
Natalie
The wheels of the plane touch the ground as I nibble on my bottom lip. I’ve never felt so nervous about anything in my life—well besides the night at lounge Haven for Open Mic a few months ago but that nervousness can’t even compare to now.
I thought I would be excited to see Nolan again. Turns out I’m not completely. I am excited to be with him and hopefully make him feel better but it just doesn’t seem like it’s going to be the same. I haven’t talked to him all weekend and to see him today may be odd.
A flight attendant speaks through the microphone but it’s all a buzzing around my head. As soon as I see people standing and reaching into the compartments above to grab their bags, I do the same. I hurry down the aisle and take my time going down the hall that leads to the lobby. I can’t help but wonder if he’ll be excited to see me. Is he as anxious as I am? Will he be smiling and ready to see me?
After pushing through the crowd just to fight for my own suitcase, I turn around and scan the lobby. The wailing and crying of babies fills my ear buds. People chatting and business people rushing with their phones glued to their ears takes my attention away—that is until I see Nolan standing near the exit.
I gasp at first sight of him. It’s not what I’d expected at all—in fact, it’s much worse. He looks terrible in his faded jeans and white T-shirt. I can’t forget to mention the bags beneath his eyes that prove his lack of peaceful sleep. I study his lean stature, glad I can still make out the curves and creases beneath his T-shirt. At least he hasn’t let himself go all the way.
As I step forward, my heart pounds heavily. He spots me coming before I can get to him and as soon as his soft eyes meet mine, he smiles . . . but of course it’s a forced one.
“Hi, Bunny,” he whispers in my ear, pulling me against him. I smile over his shoulder, embracing his touch that I’ve missed over the course of these four months. His masculine scent that I’ve missed lingering in my lungs. I feel the heat radiating from his body and I sigh because I’ve missed this. I’ve missed holding on to him and I don’t want to let go but I do fractionally to get a better look at him.
He pushes a hand through his mussed hair before reaching for my suitcase and my tote bag. “Nolan, are you feeling alright?”
He shrugs. “I’m living, right?” My lips press as he digs into his pockets to pull out some car keys. “Come on. We don’t want to hit traffic.”
Nodding, I follow after him towards the exit. As he pushes out, I take in the warm, fall air of San Francisco. It feels nice but it’s nowhere near as warm as Miami is.
We continue to walk until we reach a silver Altima. He pops the trunk, places the bags inside, and I slide into the passenger seat with jumbled nerves as he shuts it and hurries for the driver’s side. This isn’t what I was expecting at all. I don’t like the silence from him. I don’t like how quiet he is or how drained he looks. I guess the double shifts and his loss is really catching up with him.