Hard to Hold On - By Shanora Williams Page 0,48

darkness, and then clutch my house keys. I pull my door open and peep out towards the living room. Mills must be in his bedroom which is good. I don’t want him to see me going out in the stupor I’m in. But I’ve told myself this a million times. I’m not giving up on Natalie. I’m not giving up on the love I have for her. It’s real and I know it. I just need to fight to win it again.

Shutting the apartment door behind me, I rush down the stairs and hit the sidewalk. It feels good tonight. The breeze is just right and feels pleasant as it brushes against my flushed cheeks. My skin is hotter than hell and I feel like a million degrees but I won’t stop. I think I may have drunk a little too much and my body wants nothing but rest but I’m not stopping until I get to Natalie.

****

It takes me fifteen minutes by foot to get to Natalie’s condo. I spot her car parked in the parking lot and rush for the entrance. I push the button on the elevator and it opens immediately. Soft elevator music floods through my ears and pounds against my skull. I want to tap out but I’m too close to my cure. I’m too close to what I want most.

The doors slide open and I stagger towards her door. My fists pound louder than I expect and quick footsteps scuffle around on the other side of the door. “Who the hell is that?” I hear Harper ask from a distance. That’s not the voice I want to hear.

The door swings open and in front of me is my best friend Dawson. “Dude, what the fuck are you doing out so late?” He lets me in but my legs give out and I fall against him. He catches me before I fall but he stumbles from holding my weight. “Holy shit, Nolan. What the hell is wrong with you?” He drags me with him and not long after my back lands on something deeply cushioned.

“Oh my God, is he okay?” Harper asks, panic behind her voice.

A door creaks open and light footsteps come in my direction before a heavy gasp lets out. “Nolan?” the voice I want to hear most calls. I dare my eyes to open and I spot my Bunny looking down at me. Her eyes are drowned with worry. Her hair is down and swimming around her small face.

“Natalie,” I croak.

“Dawson, bring him to my room,” she says as she looks at him.

With a grunt, Dawson lifts me up and drapes my arm around his shoulder. “How much did you have to drink, man?”

“Uh . . .” I hesitate as he drags me to Natalie’s room. My vision doubles as he drags me towards the bed and I land on my back. “Let’s see. Mills had some Tequila. I downed that. He had one case of beer . . . downed that, too . . . maybe two shots of vodka—”

“What?!” Natalie squeals. She pushes past Dawson and places a hand against my forehead. “Oh my God, Nolan. You’re cold.” She sits on the edge of the bed, lifting me upright and I rest my head against her chest.

“Might be alcohol poisoning,” Harper says. Dawson turns to look at her with a raised eyebrow and she shrugs. “What? I know the signs.”

“Of course you do,” he sighs. “Look, I’ll go grab a bucket or something. Don’t need my man throwing up all over your bedroom. Just know it’s coming. Stick with him.”

“I will.” Natalie’s voice sounds like heaven in my ear. I love hearing it.

“Natalie, I’m so sorry,” I slur.

She shushes me as she rocks me in her arms. My eyes begin to shut but she pushes me back by my shoulders. “No, Nolan. You have to stick with me. If you fall asleep I might not get you back,” she says, her voice cracking. “This is my fault. Why would you drink so much?”

“It’s what Mills does to get rid of the pain. It seems to always work for him.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t drink this much, Nolan. You look terrible.”

“Are you not attracted to me anymore?” I tease, admiring her worry. Worry means she still cares.

“Nolan—” She breaks off as my head falls. A tightness creeps up to my throat and not long after there’s burning. My stomach boils and I rush away from her quickly to get to the bathroom.

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