Hard to Hold On - By Shanora Williams Page 0,14

minor small talk and flirting, I finally figure out what has to be done.

Chapter Seven

Natalie

During the past three days, Nolan has been busy with arranging the funeral and sending out invitations. Mills comes around us occasionally but he’s topsy-turvy and it makes me nervous to be around him. There are times when he’s cool and will speak casually and then there are times where it seems as if he wants to flip a table over. After Nolan told me Mills might have a minor bipolar disorder that he doesn’t want to get checked out for, I began to feel sorry for him. Why hadn’t he told me this before?

Nolan hides so much that it kills me. I asked about his father last night but he brushed it off and told me it was to remain in the past. Now I’m beginning to think maybe he was right about our relationship in some ways. Ever since the argument, I’ve been thinking about us way too much. We hardly communicate and from what my mom and dad always tell me, communication is key. I know it’s only been a few months but I really want him to open up to me. I tell him more about me and my problems than he tells me.

I pause on those thoughts, my mind snapping back into reality as we pull into the parking lot of a floral shop. Nolan and I decided that a few white and red roses for the funeral would be best. He mentioned how his mother smelled like roses a lot so I linked two and two together and decided it was best to gather some fresh ones.

As soon as we step into the shop, an elderly woman is standing behind the counter bundling a cluster of assorted flowers with a rubber band. “Well, hello!” she chimes, placing the flowers down on the counter carefully.

“Hi,” I smile. I look up at Nolan who has a tight, forced smile on his lips. For the past three days he’s been acting really off. I thought sex would relieve some of his stress but he still seems thrown. Our shower-sex was the last time we’d done it but right after, I was confused by his sullen mood. He was still forcing smiles and the conversations we were having afterwards were rather pointless.

“What can I help you with?” the woman asks, still smiling broadly.

“There’s a funeral,” I say when Nolan doesn’t answer. “We’re looking for the freshest red and white roses you might have.”

She nods, pulling her glasses from the bridge of her nose to wipe them off with the hem of her grey shirt. “Well if you’re looking for extremely fresh I’d come by tomorrow morning. I have a truck that will be bringing a load of fresher roses in for me. The ones I have here are somewhat worthy but I don’t think they will last you until tomorrow.”

I nod as I reach for Nolan’s hand. His fingers don’t bother to wrap around mine. He doesn’t seem to notice, but as he pulls away to look at the yellow tulips to our right, a part of me rips in half. The gesture reminds me of my ex. Right before I found out what Bryson had done behind my back, he pulled the same exact gesture. I’m sure Nolan doesn’t mean it that way but I can’t help but panic now.

“In the morning is fine,” Nolan mumbles, digging into his back pocket to pull his wallet out. “We can stop by and pick them up before we get to the funeral. Do I pay over here?” He points at the counter and the woman nods as she scurries behind it. She asks him how many he would like and after he pays, we are out of the shop and back at the car again.

I can’t believe how rude he’s being towards me. I can’t believe he’s brushing me off like I won’t notice. I know all of the signs that lead to a break up and I refuse to sit around and act like I don’t know what’s going on. I won’t let him become a Bryson Daniels so as soon as we’re in the car I turn in my seat to look at him. “What the hell is wrong with you?” I ask.

He pauses on starting the car, giving me a brief glance. “Nothing.”

“Don’t lie to me, Nolan. You think I don’t notice what’s going on with you? You’ve been brushing me off.”

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