I see Sev coming to the same conclusion. Totiv like that, Totiv who completely disrespect what it means to be a Totiv, don’t deserve to live. We sit in silence, each of us dealing with our own dark thoughts.
Imagine what things might be like if we completed the mate bond with her, Sev muses, breaking the silence. We might be able to speak to her through our minds just like we can.
She won’t want me once she gets to know me, elon, I respond, letting myself be vulnerable to him.
Sev just smiles. Her heart knows yours, elon, and sometimes, that’s enough.
Twenty
Harlow
I wake early, the nightmares pulling me from sleep once again. By the time I’m sitting around the fire with Sev, Dev is nowhere to be seen. My heart drops at that, even though the grumpy alien scares me. He’s always glaring and watching me with those dark eyes, but I still can’t help this…this pull I feel towards him.
I just wish I knew why he hated me so much.
It saddens me to think he does. Is it because I’m here? Or does he hate all humans? There has to be a reason they live out here—is this why? I don’t doubt my safety with them anymore, they clearly just want to look after me. Or mainly, Sev does, and now with Kitty—yes, I named the animal Kitty—here, I feel safe.
Safer, I should say.
There are moments when fear consumes me and I have to retreat back to my little den to breathe through it, usually with Kitty standing guard at the entrance to protect me. The animal doesn’t leave my side except to hunt, not that I’m complaining, he’s a great snuggle buddy. Sev gave me some of the paste he used to heal me for Kitty’s leg, and it’s helped the animal heal.
I can also see the strain my presence has on Sev and Dev’s relationship. I think they might be related, maybe brothers or even twins. I watch Sev stare out of the cave sadly, his expression one of longing. It’s the same look I get when I think about my Harvest sisters. He’s worried about Dev. I just wish there was something I could do, they have done so much for me already—pulling me from the river, healing me, feeding me, clothing me.
Sev goes out of his way to make sure I’m okay. He shares smiles and talks to me, even though I can’t understand him. He makes sure to check my wounds and cooks for me, even watches the door when I bathe and use the bathroom like he knows about the sudden, pounding terror that fills me when he moves away.
I reach over and lay my hand on Sev’s arm, a natural gesture. I’ve done it a million times with my sisters, and I do it now without thought, offering comfort when he’s clearly sad, but he isn’t one of my sisters. He turns and blinks at me in shock before his face bursts into a wide grin. I freeze, wondering what the hell I’m doing. His skin is hard to the touch, but warm like mine. I swallow as I look at my tiny hand on his huge arm, and he follows the direction of my gaze.
I should move away, but I can’t.
The closeness of the fire before us warms my face, our bodies so near, we are almost touching. I didn’t even realise that I move a bit closer to him every day, until now. I gasp when he slowly covers my hand so I have time to see it and react. He lifts his hand and strokes it down my cheek gently, like I’m made of glass and he’s afraid of breaking me. Those dark eyes watch me, filled with emotions I can’t even name but understand.
Because I feel them too.
He murmurs words as he strokes my face, words I don’t understand, but the meaning is clear. Then, suddenly, I can hear him. Not just the words he’s speaking out loud, but the ones he’s thinking in his head.
My eyes widen and I gasp, shocked from the random onset of his gravelly, familiar voice, but the words are understandable. They float through my mind and wrap around me protectively, lovingly.
My mate, so perfect.
So beautiful. If only you knew just how perfect you are. I wish I could…
His voice trails off, breaking up like a radio without signal, and I whimper from the loss, wishing I could hear him