Nana wanted me to go, but I told them I would be okay by myself.”
But she hadn’t been. Janya could see that. Olivia wasn’t a confident child. She was afraid of the water, did not like the wind, and was often worried about Alice’s health. If she had friends, they were never invited to the cottage. Janya was surprised her father had allowed Olivia to attend the rec center program, and she suspected Lee had done it purely to distract Tracy the night Alice had invited the neighbors for dessert.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” Janya told her. “Have you heard that I will be supervising the painting of the mural at the rec center? Perhaps you have a little time to sketch out ideas.”
“I don’t even really know what a mural is. Just, like, a big painting?”
“That’s exactly right, and who better to think of ideas?”
“We painted the wall today. Twice. It’s all ready. How will we start?”
“I think tomorrow we will talk about what we would like to see there, then perhaps ask all the children to sketch. We don’t have a lot of time to do it, so we will have to move faster than I like. But I think we can make it happen.”
“I’m so glad you’ll be there every day.” Olivia’s wide smile said she meant it. “I don’t know why Nana couldn’t stay and teach crocheting, too. I would like you both to be there. Tracy’s already there every day.”
Janya knew better than to discuss the reasons why Alice was no longer teaching. To her, this was just more evidence that Olivia’s father was a tyrant.
“So now the wall is ready,” Janya said. “Did you have fun painting it?”
“I like to paint. Mommy and I were going to paint my new room before she died. She let me choose the color. I chose turquoise.”
“Like the color in here?”
“Lighter. And I was going to have pink curtains.” Olivia stopped. She no longer looked confident. “Janya, I…”
Janya waited, even though she was afraid the beans might burn. “Something is the matter?”
“The house. Where we were supposed to move. It was a secret. Mommy found the house, and she said when she saw it she knew it would be perfect for us. It was pretty far from here. I would have to change schools, but I didn’t care. She only told me because we had to paint before we could move in. She said we would surprise Daddy, and I wasn’t supposed to tell him or the surprise would be spoiled. It was our secret.”
“I see.” But she didn’t.
“Then she died. I don’t know what happened to the house. I was afraid to ask Daddy. I don’t think Mommy had told him yet, and then he would feel worse that we couldn’t move in there, the way Mommy wanted.”
Janya could not imagine a situation in which a woman would buy or rent a house and not tell her husband. Everyone liked surprises. But a house? Far from Palmetto Grove?
“It had four whole bedrooms, one for everybody,” Olivia said wistfully. “Mommy was going to use the last one as an office. Someday she was going to start a business all by herself.”
“You must miss her very much.”
“Sometimes I worry it was my fault she died. When Mommy and Daddy fought, I wished I could make the fights stop. And now they have. Forever.”
Janya rested her hand on Olivia’s shoulder. “You never wished your mother would die, Olivia. And even if you did, just because you were angry at that moment, it’s okay. No one can make things happen just by wishing. If we could, the world would be a terrible place.”
“Do you think so?”
“I have often wished my house would clean itself and my dinner would cook itself, and neither one has ever happened.” Janya had also wished that Darshan would choose to marry her, despite the scandal, but that hadn’t come to pass, either.
“Do you and Mr. Kapur fight?”
She didn’t know how to answer that. She and Rishi didn’t fight because they rarely saw each other. In their case, this was not a good thing.
She tried to explain. “Many people in love fight. It can be difficult to live together.” She hesitated; then she added as casually as she could, “But it is never good to hit another person.”
“I’m glad Daddy didn’t hit Mommy.”
Janya was relieved. “Why don’t I get some paper and pens? Then you can sketch while I make dinner. We can think of ideas for