Hammered (Blue Bay Crew #3)- Cathryn Fox Page 0,39
hammer two brothers and at least one cousin.”
“Oh please,” she says with a laugh.
“I’m sure you’re told that all the time, though.”
She frowns. “People say nice things when they want something from you.”
“Fuck.” I curse under my breath. I hate her fucking industry and she deserves better than that. “When I tell you you’re beautiful, it’s because I mean it. Lip service comes later, when you’re beneath me in bed, got it?”
A fine quiver moves through her and she grins at me. “Got it, and for the record,” she gives me a teasing wink. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
I arch a brow and run the rough pad of my thumb over her wrist. “Not so bad? What happened to the biggest, hottest guy in the room?”
“Right, wasn’t that what I said,” she teases.
I cup her cheek, and she leans into my hand. “So you really want an apiary.”
“It’s a pipe dream, Tyler.” I hate the defeat in her voice, the fact that she’s given up before even trying. “How can I possibly have an apiary in my line of work?”
“I don’t know. All I do know is life is short, and you should go after what you want. Even if you don’t get it, you should still go after it. It’s no fun spending your life wondering what if…”
She slides off my lap, and stares out into the lake. “You’re not wrong.”
“Do you still like acting?”
She frowns. “I don’t know who I am without it, you know.” She casts me a quick glance.
While that didn’t really answer my question, it does tell me a lot about her. “Maybe you should take some time to find out.”
“What if…” She shakes her head, and plucks an imaginary piece of lint off her sleeve. “Never mind.”
“Hey,” I say, in a soft voice, not wanting her to hold any punches with me. “What is it?” She scrunches up her nose, and I get it. It’s not easy to confront your fears, but I want honesty with her. “No judgment, Haven.”
“I’ve never been this honest with anyone, Tyler. Not even myself. It’s not easy.” Her eyes search mine, and I reach out and smooth my hand down her hair, giving her time to formulate her thoughts. “This might sound strange, but people associate me with a character. That’s how they see me,” she says, her voice tight, like she’s been scraped a little raw inside. “They don’t see me for who I am, and honestly, Tyler, I don’t know who I am.” She puts her hand on her heart. “In here.”
I close my hand over hers. “In here you’re a good person.”
“You don’t really know that, and well…. what if I figure out who I really am and no one likes that person?”
I nod, and my heart pinches as understanding sweeps through me. I haven’t known her for very long, but what I do know, I like. When she’s with me, she’s been honest and open, like she is now. She hasn’t been hiding behind a character, and I’m glad she feels safe enough to be herself around me.
“Have you been honest and open with me?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Do you like who you are with me?”
“Yes.”
“For what it’s worth, Haven, I like who you are with me too. I like who I am with you.”
She goes quiet for a long time, and we sit in silence until she asks, “Do you miss fighting?”
I roll one shoulder. “At first, sure, but my life and priorities were changing. It was time for me to come back, and I knew it.” She stares at me, waiting for me to elaborate so I add, “After Dad passed away, Sean called us all home.”
“And everyone just dropped what they were doing and came, no questions asked?”
“He needed us, and we all needed each other. We’d all been away long enough.” She shakes her head like she can’t wrap her brain around that, and I get it. Who drops everything and returns to their childhood town because they were summoned?
Those carrying a shit ton of guilt, that’s who.
The truth of the matter is, we were all stupid kids, and when Dad got tough, we all turned our backs on him. “None of us were here when Dad died,” I say around a lump in my throat. As my insides squeeze tight, I shake my head and choke out, “I have no idea why I just told you that.”
“Because we’re supposed to be honest with each other.”