A Hamilton Family Christmas - Donna Kauffman Page 0,57
enough for you? Doing something because you’re good at it?”
She lifted a shoulder. “It’s what it is. I don’t hate it. And…it’s always there while I figure things out. I don’t have another back up plan.”
Me, he wanted to shout. Let me be your back up plan.
“This other alternative solution for the store…how long do you think you’ll be here, sorting that out, if it works?”
“I don’t know. I took my annual leave to come here. I have through the new year. Then I have to go back.”
“Would you be willing to sort through this—us—while you’re here? See where it might go?”
Had he not been looking closely, he might have missed that leap of want, that instinctive reaction of delight, at his suggestion. He latched on to that. Holly might not want to admit her secret desires, or that she could reach for a new star…even to herself. But she wanted to.
“I don’t want to lead you on,” she said. “Or myself. Just because we’re both interested—”
“Should be reason enough for any two people to explore what might be. It’s not something that happens every day, Holly. Or ever, for some people. Just give it a chance, me a chance. Speaking for me, I’d rather risk the hurt, the ultimate rejection, than never trying at all. At least then I’d know we’d made the effort…and that it wasn’t meant to be.”
She didn’t say anything, and he wanted, badly, to press the advantage he knew he had. Their physical attraction, that chemistry, was natural and explosive, and one little kiss right now would probably be enough to tilt her decision in his favor.
But so much of this was out-of-the-ordinary nutty, he really wanted any decision she made to come without the cloud of pheromones and desire, but with a clear mind and an open heart.
“I think we’re asking for trouble, Sean.”
“And I think we’re asking for the moon. But we might as well reach. You can’t get what you don’t go after.”
She smiled briefly then and shook her head. “Are you always so certain about things?”
“Sometimes. But when I am, I most definitely am.” He cocked his head. “I thought you were always certain about things.”
“I thought so, too,” she said. “But nothing seems to be staying the same. And things I thought I knew, like with my parents, aren’t what I thought at all. So…maybe for the first time, I’m feeling like I’m not certain of anything.” She looked at him. “And I don’t know if I can tackle another uncertainty right now.”
He tipped up her chin and looked into her eyes. “But now is when I’m here. And you’re here. And we get the chance. Tackling uncertainties…that’s how you get the answers.”
He kissed her, but this time it was slow and thoughtful, and with the absolute intent of letting her know it wasn’t the wild, out-of-control lust that had him saying these things. Or feeling these things.
Her eyes were a little glassy and unfocused when he lifted his head. He covered her hand with his own and slid hers to cover her heart. “Feel that?” he said, quietly. “That’s what mine’s doing right now. I just want the chance to have more of that. With you.”
He left her hand there, on her heart, and stepped back. Her feet slid down from where they’d been tucked around his legs, so her heels tapped the front of the counter. Where she sat, looking a bit lost, a bit dumbstruck, and a lot confused.
“You know where to find me.” He turned, unlocked the door, and walked out. He heard the ringing of sleigh bells as the door swung shut behind him. The walk back across the street was the longest one he’d ever taken. And he prayed like hell that wasn’t the last time he’d ever see her. Come and get me, Holly Bennett.
He pushed the door open to Gallagher’s and walked into the burst of people chatting, silverware clanking on dishes, laughter, the sound of the coffee grinder going, and the general chaos that was the soundtrack to his life. And it was his life, and life-giving to him.
He turned around then and looked back across the street. At the quiet, darkened little shop and its lone occupant, sitting in total silence. And he felt his heart squeeze, then drop. What on earth would ever compel a solitary, quiet woman such as Holly Bennett to step into his cacophonous world? Much less give him a chance?