Half Lost (The Half Bad Trilogy #3) - Sally Green Page 0,57
trying. It has to be better than what we’ve got at the moment.”
“I agree, but it’s how to get there that’s the point of this discussion, I think.”
Ledger leans back in his seat, saying, “You know, the thing I’ve learned over many, many years”—he waits for me to look up at him and then he smiles as if to acknowledge how young he looks—“is that things turn round anyway. Nothing, however bad or, sadly, however good, lasts forever. All is ephemeral. Including us.”
“So do nothing is your answer? Wait for it to happen naturally!”
“It’s an option. You could leave them to it, Soul and the Alliance, and find a quiet place to live. I see you by a river, trees, mountains . . . a place very much like my home here in Montana.” He leans forward to look into my eyes. “Yes, trees, and a river for sure, though I’m not so certain about a cabin.”
Ledger reaches out to touch me. “May I?” he asks, and then he lays his hand on top of mine. “You’re an interesting boy, Nathan. So young and yet bursting with magical powers. But your own Gift is powerful and yet it feels small: buried under all these other desires and emotions.”
“I’ve had other things to think about. I’m learning to use all my Gifts. I need them all to fight Soul. But I need the amulet too.”
“We seem to be back where we started.”
For lack of anything better to say, I add, “Life—death. I mean everything, the whole system, is fucked up anyway.”
“Out of balance is the phrase we older people would use,” he replies, but he’s smiling again.
I ask him, “Why are you in that disguise? I mean, why appear as a young man? I know you’re not young and I don’t think you’re a man.”
“Does it matter what I appear to be? I thought you might enjoy talking to someone more like yourself. And I have to say that being young and healthy and full of vigor is so much more pleasurable than not.”
“When Van came did you appear to her as a sophisticated woman?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact, I did.”
“And when Mercury was here?”
“Oh that was fun. I remember it like yesterday. I took on the look of Thetis, which Mercury didn’t like at all. Too much competition.”
“I’ve no idea who Thetis is.”
“You should Google her sometime.”
I don’t reply and he says, “You don’t like phones, computers . . . electricity?”
I hesitate, then explain. “It sets off noises in my head, hissing.”
“Ah, a few of us Black Witches have that sensitivity. At first I battled against it myself. Then I learned to ignore it: for years I ignored it, was very pleased with myself that I could ignore it and get on with my life. I thought about it, meditated on it, meditated with it. And then finally, finally . . . the lightbulb moment, as they say.”
“I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.”
I look away from Ledger and out of the window. I say, “Where are we? I mean, we’re not really in Montana, are we?”
He looks out of the window too, as if to check and consider the question carefully, before saying, “Well, it certainly looks like Montana.”
I’m not sure what or where we are. It could all be some kind of dream or illusion. But Ledger is real enough. I sip my water. It’s cold and seems real too.
“I’m glad you’ve come, Nathan. I don’t get many visitors.”
“That’s not surprising. You’re not easy to find.”
“No. That’s true, I suppose. I complain but I don’t do anything about it.” He gives a thoughtful smile as if considering this. “We missed out on the get-to-know-you small talk, but I should say that I am against killing, against violence. And you, Nathan, have a lot of violence in your past and in yourself.”
Ledger leans across the table and takes my hand. His is cool and dry but with a firm grip. “And yet I am also a believer in balance, in the power of our Gifts through harmony. Nathan, you have so many strengths, from your mother, your father, and I think from your own self. Though at the moment I don’t sense much harmony.” He rubs my palm and looks at it. “You have a long lifeline, curiously long . . .” Then he looks up at me, as if confused. “And I feel that your future is ultimately a peaceful one.”