Guarding Temptation - Talia Hibbert Page 0,10

lap like a cat and purr.

“I don’t understand you,” she admitted quietly, the words squeezing at her own heart. She hated it, but it was true. Nina wanted to understand everything—that was why she’d started the website that got her into this mess. She’d wanted to understand the way this country worked, and when she’d figured it out, she’d wanted everyone else to know too.

Now she was an expert on EU subsidies and misleading rhetoric. She could tell you how many deaths had been caused by austerity so far and she could recommend books that would explain the sociological biases that allowed those deaths to happen.

But she couldn’t grasp why James was the way he was—how he could touch her so gently one minute and flinch away the next, how he could avoid her like the plague but swear he’d kill for her. And, truthfully, she couldn’t fathom the depths of her own need for him, when her teenage crush had grown into something that felt molten and uncontrollable and painfully inevitable.

“What’s there to understand?” he asked quietly. “You know I care about you.”

“Because you love my brother.”

“Because I love—” he broke off with a heavy sigh, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, Nina. Because if that’s what you think, I haven’t done right by you for a long time.”

She eyed him warily. “What does that mean?”

“It means you’re—you’re one of the most important people in my life, and you don’t even know it. You should know it.” He reached out and caught her hand, her nerve endings sparking like fireworks. Aside from their hug, this was the first solid touch she’d had from James in weeks, sitting on the sofa where he’d touched her, really touched her, for the last time. The quick flick of his whiskey gaze, the tick of a muscle at his jaw, was the only indication that he might be thinking the same. But within seconds his expression was smooth, his voice level and comforting.

Maybe she was imagining things.

“If I tell you something now,” he said, “do you think you could try to believe me?”

She felt a smile tease her lips, despite the tumult of emotions in her chest. “Something, hm? We’re not going to talk about our feelings, are we? Because you know how I feel about that.”

“It’s gotta happen sometime, Cupcake.” James wasn’t smiling back. He was deadly serious, his gaze insistent. He leaned toward her, and she was struck by the power of his body, the amount of space he took up. He was a big guy, which she liked, impressive muscles protected by a layer of sheer bulk. When he was sitting in front of her like this, in a thin white vest and basketball shorts, she was filled with the inappropriate urge to run her hands over his powerful body. To kiss the soft and vulnerable parts of him and luxuriate in the hard ones.

She cleared her throat and said, “I’ll believe whatever you tell me. I know you’re always honest.”

It was true, but for some reason his expression darkened at the words. “Right. Right. Okay. Well…” A moment ago he’d been calm and collected as ever, but now he seemed to be searching for words. “Well, first of all, I know we haven’t seen each other in a while, but talking to you is the highlight of my day. I don’t do it because of Mark. When he told me to look out for you, I don’t think he meant ‘Text her constantly’.”

The rueful expression on his face made Nina smile. “We don’t text constantly.”

They texted constantly. Usually just dog pics, weird memes, and links to articles. But still.

James gave her a look and ignored the blatant lie. “Anyway. I also want you to know that, no matter how things are between us, I am never too busy for you. I pray that nothing like this ever happens again, but if it does, you need to know that. You need me, you call me. Fuck, you can call me if you break a fucking nail. I don’t care, Nina. You need me, you call me. Because you matter. Okay?”

She looked away, trying not to choke on the emotions clogging her throat.

“Nina.”

She grunted.

“Nina.” She registered the familiar exasperation in his voice, realised she was doing the whole emotional distancing thing, seconds before he caught her by the wrist and pulled. The action sent her sprawling against his side, forcing her to lean on him when she felt more like wandering off.

“I