dancing off the hard planes of his face. “I said goodbye to Jacki a century ago, and I meant it.”
“But how to you feel about that?” she pressed.
He looked as if he wanted to roll his eyes but prevented himself somehow. “I don’t feel anything. It was a long time ago, and it’s over. When it’s over, it’s over.”
“You can just cut people out like that?” Boy, were they different people.
He nodded. “Yes. I’m all or nothing, according to Benny. It’s not a bad way to live.”
If they actually survived this, she hoped he never cut her out completely. That would hurt, more than she’d realized until right this second. How she wished she could’ve known him when he was young. What was he like way back then? “Do you believe in love?’
“No. Do you?”
“Yes.” She was right and he was wrong. Did she want to prove it to him? She was so busy pushing him to have feelings that she hadn’t really examined her own. How did she feel about this immortal badass? He was hot, sexy, strong, stubborn, and protective. Her body felt alive when he was near, and she felt stronger in his presence. Even when they were arguing. Oh, he was emotionally stunted, probably from being a soldier his entire life, but he had depths. She could see them. Could she plumb them?
“Grace?” he asked. “Are you still with me?”
She nodded. “I’m just thinking through the matter.” He was talking her into taking a risk.
“Take your time.” His shoulders were even wider than the back of the chair. “The conclusion is foregone, but do what you need to in order to get there.”
How could he sound so certain? “You understand that you’re risking your life by mating me? That the doctors might be wrong about my blood helping you to survive?”
“I risk my life every day. This is a much more pleasurable way than most.” His eyes glittered.
A shiver ran through her, delicious in its journey. “Aren’t you afraid to die?”
“No.”
She believed him. This was not absence of emotion but absolute truth. Had he faced death so many times during his long life that dying was just the next step? She felt sad at that thought. Great. Now she wanted to save him. To show him that life meant everything and that he should fight to keep it. To enjoy it. She sighed.
“What?”
“Nothing.” There was no way to explain her thoughts to him.
His gaze turned piercing. “Do you trust me?”
The question hit her dead center. “Yes,” she whispered. She truly did.
“Then do so now. I know what I’m doing—we will both survive this mating. I’m asking you to trust me completely, Grace.” His eyes changed to the rare dark silver hue.
She couldn’t breathe. “I’ve wanted you to let me make my own decisions about my life, and I guess you deserve the same. If you want to risk your life, so long as we try everything we can to preserve it, then you have that right. If we do this, I’m all in. You need to understand that.”
He frowned. “You have to be all in. We both do.”
Oh, he had no clue what she meant. “If we mate, things will change.” If they survived, she had to get to know him, maybe love him, whether he liked it or not. Whether he was prepared for all of her or not. The idea thrilled her to a degree that was surprising. So much for being self-aware.
“Agreed.” His expression lightened. “I’m pleased you understand.”
She swallowed. “Come on, Adare. Neither one of us knows exactly what we’re getting into, and that’s a fact. You think you can handle me, and I think I can handle you, and neither one of us likes to be handled.”
“Grace, I admire your sense of adventure, but make no mistake, you will be handled. After your escapades in Colorado, you’re on the Kurjans’ radar again, and we’ll have to take additional measures for your safety. That needs to happen whether we mate or not, and if we do mate, it becomes my duty.” He paused. “Not that there’s a choice in mating. We’ve both agreed it’s the only path to take, and now we’re just wasting time waffling.”
Waffling? Take her in hand? Oh, he had a harsh reality coming his way. “What? You just want me to take off my clothes and bend over?”
“If I want you bent over, I’ll bend you over.” He straightened in his chair. “However, I’m willing to follow the