Seriously? What were the chances that Izzy had a friend who lived in the same building as Johnny’s flat? There were only six apartments in that place, waaay too much of a coincidence.
Izzy cast a quick look over one shoulder, then the other, then stuck her arm out and hailed a taxi. She jumped in as if she couldn’t get out of the place fast enough.
This was not good. This was so not good. Then the door opened again.
And the person who came out was Johnny.
Fuck.
Ferdia’s heart thumped painfully.
Johnny repeated the same furtive over-the-shoulder checks Izzy had, then, just as she had, flagged down a cab.
It was obvious they’d been together.
What the hell had they been up to?
And what kind of stupid question was that?
Poor Mum. That was his overriding thought. This would ruin her.
He’d often wondered about Johnny. In the past, he’d decided he was a cheater, because believing bad things about him had felt good. Lately, though, he’d liked him better. Just because he literally never shut up didn’t mean he was a player.
But Ferdia had been wrong: the world was bigger, badder and far darker than he’d ever realized.
NINETY-SEVEN
I should have bought new underwear. Are we going to have actual sex? I wish I’d worn deodorant. Wait, I didn’t bring condoms. I shouldn’t be meeting him. Why did my hair have to go bushy when I need it to be beachy-wave? It was okay until I combed it. Will he have brought condoms? What will I do about Liam? This is crackheadery and I am losing my mind.
Would he be literally lurking outside on the street? Hey, maybe he wouldn’t show at all.
No. He was not going to change his mind: she was certain about that.
The street curved around and now she could see the building. Ferdia wasn’t there. But as she got nearer, she spotted him across the street, wearing a long dark coat and clumpy lace-up boots, looking like an elegant tramp.
Forcing her body to carry on as normal, she got the key from her satchel. On the edge of her vision, he was crossing the road.
The key wouldn’t fit into the latch. Oh, God, no. Had Johnny changed the locks? With trembling hands, she tried again. It slipped in, twisted easily and, with relief, she fell against the heavy door, pushing it open. Stepping into the hallway, Ferdia was behind her. She could actually smell him – fresh sweat, cold day, washing powder and a slight hint of mustiness, probably from his coat. Her skin goosebumped.
The door shut and the bright, chilly street disappeared. In the dim hallway, the only light came through the fan-shaped window above the lintel.
Nell turned to him, their glances locked and fear flared though her. This was insane.
‘It’s okay.’ He sounded really pretty sure about this.
‘The flat,’ she said. ‘It’s on the first floor.’ She gave him the key. ‘Can you …’
‘Uh … Okay.’
He had no trouble with the lock, she noticed. His fingers were all confident slides and turns. He gestured her ahead of him into the hallway and the door echoed shut behind them.
So? What now? A friendly chat? ‘How’s your grandp–’
‘Getting better.’ He spoke quickly. ‘I didn’t say because you might have cancelled on me. So why’d I have to open the door?’
‘Because it can’t seem like I’m, you know, taking advantage of you.’
‘Nell, could you please not?’ He sounded exasperated. ‘I’m hardly a teenage boy. I’m a man.’
‘Okay …’
‘And what’s even the issue? You’re married. You’re not leaving your husband. Why are we here?’
Technically, you asked me.
But feck it. I didn’t show up so you could cry on my shoulder. Might as well be honest with myself about it.
‘Why do you think?’
‘Oh. Kay.’
Her chest contracted so tightly that her breath was happening in short, sippy gasps.
He moved his hands to her body. Slipping his thumbs along her hip bones, he pulled her against him and, oh, my God, this was on.
Their lips touched in a clumsy bump. In anguish, he clutched her jaw. ‘Did I hurt you?’
‘No, no.’ Please don’t stop!
It became a kiss of slow and aching sweetness.
Oh, God, I remember thiiiiiiis.
Her hands slid under his big coat and around his narrow, narrow waist. Slowly pushing her palms along his stomach, she loosened his shirt from his trousers so she could touch his cool, bare skin.
It was the sudden rush of cold air that told her they were no longer alone.