A huge smile stretches wide across my face. “So, when can I cash these in?”
He smiles, a hint of playfulness. “Whenever you want. The spa is open.”
I cock a brow. “Uh-huh.”
He laughs. “I swear. I’ll be strictly professional. My hands will not wander.”
Pity.
“Not sure I can trust you, Mister,” I say, trying to pretend I’m not affected.
“I swear.”
I look at him and, then…I really look at him, down to the gold speckles of his eyes.
“What?” he says.
“Why are you doing all this? Why are you being so nice to me? After all I’ve put you through?”
He puts his hand softly on my knee. I catch my breath at the feel of his touch. He hasn’t touched me in ages. He’s been very careful thus far. “Because I love you.”
I smile at him, not saying a word, wanting him to take me in his arms.
He fixes me with emotion. His face falls as he tells me, “I know I didn’t love you right, Ella.”
The admission brings out something in me. I bite back the lump in my throat, confused. “What do you mean?”
He pulls his gaze away from mine. “While we were apart, I thought about us a lot,” he says, “about what happened between us…this whole Weston-Bridget thing.”
I nod and take his hand in mine.
“I’ve tried to figure out where we went wrong, and why we did it…” he trails off and looks at me again. “Why would any happily married couple, why would anyone in their right mind? I think we were bored. We wanted an adventure. We wanted excitement.”
I pull a lock of my hair, wondering about that too. “I was shocked when you were willing to go for it,” I tell him. “I didn’t quite get it. I know Bridget is gorgeous, but I was shocked you were willing to let another man have me.”
He fixes me, his eyes intense. “It wasn’t just about Bridget, you know. It was about you too. I knew you wanted him. And I knew you’d never had the chance to be with anyone other than me, and I wanted to give you that.”
I smile at him. “You’re crazy.”
He shakes his head. “God, I know that…now,” he says. “The truth is,” he goes on with an unfading intensity in his eyes. “I never imagined you could fall for him.”
I squeeze his hand. “I’m sorry.”
“He seemed so cold to me, so uptight,” he says. “I thought he’d be horrible in the sack, you’d get it out of your system, and come right back to me and I’d get to have a little fun with Bridget once or twice. Because as much as I like to flirt, I’ve never stepped out on you, Ella. Not once. I figured we’d both get to sow our wild oats, and then get back to our perfect little life.”
I feel nauseous at the thought of him and Bridget.
“And I thought our marriage was strong enough to survive anything,” he adds, not quite looking at me. “I took it for granted. I was foolish.”
My eyes are wet when I tell him, “Me too. I was even more stupid than you, Gabe.”
I think about the whole sordid affair: the first meeting, the first date and how amazing Gabe looked in his dark striped shirt he wore just for Bridget. Why didn’t I put an end to it right then? That night at the Planetarium and how he drove me crazy with jealousy, and the breakup. And the day he told me he was willing to do it all over again.
“But why would you be willing do it all over again?” I ask, desperately wanting to know. “After we had all broken up the first time?”
He looks up at me. “You need to understand,” he says, his eyes dark and so sad. “I didn’t realize you had fallen for him, until later.”
“When did you realize?” I ask knowing I went to great lengths to hide my feelings from my husband, to shelter him. Through all the ups and downs, I never let my feelings show. I always wore a smile, and a look of nonchalance, just as he did. And I wonder if he had been pretending too.
“The first time I worried was when I found that email in your jewelry box,” he starts. “But you convinced me you didn’t love him that night. And I figured you kept that email in your box because he had said you were beautiful in it. And I know you don’t always think you