wanted me to stay away. You had your fun with me. And that was it.”
“I’m sorry. I just—”
“I told myself I wouldn’t contact you no matter how much I wanted to, despite the fact that I thought about you every second of every day, and all the while, you were carrying my child.”
I inch closer, willing him to look at me. “I’m sorry. I’ve thought about you—”
He finally turns to face me and presses his hand firmly against my cheek. “Is this a game to you?”
“No.”
He buries his face in my neck. “Because it’s not a game to me.”
As he pulls from me, the warmth of his face lingers against my skin. I reach out and wrap my arms cautiously around him, trailing a lock of his hair between my fingers. My heart pounds against my ribs and the world seems to spin.
“Weston…”
“I can feel your heart,” he breathes against my neck.
“I…”
He pulls away again, his actions sudden. “I should go. I shouldn’t be here. Like you’ve pointed out, I’ve promised Bridget.”
He stands, looking pained. I reach for his arm but he pulls from me.
“Weston...”
He jerks away and sets off. “I should really go. I shouldn’t have come.”
As I watch him go, I’m glad. I’m glad he’s had the strength to let me go. As much as I still desire him, this is not what I want. I want everything to be okay again. I want him with his family where he belongs, not with me. And I want Gabe by my side.
Tears stream down my face as I watch the little toddler with his mother. That was me, not long ago, when the girls were still so little.
My life was simple and beautiful.
Only, at the time, I didn’t quite realize just how wonderful it was.
I am such a procrastinator. I’ve been putting off laundry all week and now it’s coming at me like a tsunami. I’m buried in it. I scratch my head, trying to figure how many loads I’ve got on my hands — maybe five or six. I’ve already separated the whites and the darks. At least that’s one thing done.
The girls are being good, for once. Chloe is completely wrapped up in her book. And Claire…well, I’m not sure what she’s up to. I haven’t heard a peep from her. And that’s cause for concern right there.
“Claire,” I call out but am only met with silence. “Claire!” I yell, but there’s still no answer.
I drop my basket on the floor and dash into the living room. I sprint out to the back yard. She’s not there either. I call out her name again, frantic. My heart beats a little faster as I run outside to the front of the house, last night’s conversation rattling around in my head. She had been upset with me and had told me she was going to go see her dad. I had smiled and had told her she’d have a ways to travel because her dad was in Chicago. “That’s a forty minute drive,” I had pointed out. “I’m good on my bike,” she had replied with a frown and a fire in her big brown eyes.
As I make my way round to the garage, I spot her little pink bike. It’s leaning in its usual spot in its full splendor, all sparkly purple tassels and flowery stickers. A wave of relief washes over me. But guilt quickly hits me as I stare at the training wheels still attached. Gabe had promised to help her practice this summer so she could finally get those wheels off. “Training wheels are for babies,” she always complains, “and I’m not a baby.”
But now Gabe isn’t here to do that, and it’s all my fault.
I bound up the stairs, still worked up in a frenzy.
She has to be somewhere.
I pop my head in her purple room. “Claire,” I call out again, and then peek in Chloe’s room. “Have you seen your sister?”
Chloe doesn’t even bother looking up from her book. “Nope”.
I start to really panic and am seriously just about to lose it when I finally spot her in the guest room, standing next to the yellow doll house. As I rush in the room, my whole body seems to lift and my heartbeat slows to a jog. “Thank God.”
She turns to look at me, tiny doll in hand, Chloe’s iPod Nano resting on the carpet. She pulls the ear buds out of her ears “What’s wrong, Mommy?” she asks, wide-eyed.