Gabe’s actions. “Why didn’t you press charges?” It’s the question I’ve desperately wanted answered since I found out.
There’s a long sigh at the end of the line. “Because…because I didn’t want to hurt you, Mirella. And to hurt him is to hurt you. The last thing you need is your children’s father behind bars. I suspect you have enough problems as it stands.”
I cry into the phone. “Thank you,” I say, the words a high-pitched whimper.
“But unfortunately, it came at a price,” he explains quietly. “I begged Bridget to help him out. She couldn’t believe I was begging her to defend the man who beat me to a pulp. I had to promise to stay away from you.”
My heart feels heavy as I listen to his words.
“I can’t be there for you right now,” he tells me, his words soft. “It’s still too raw for her. I’m sorry, Mirella.”
A flush of pain washes over me, a deep, all-consuming pain. “I understand.”
“Goodbye,” he says before the line goes dead.
I understand why he can’t be there for me. I’ll understand if he can never be there. He has a family of his own, and that should be his priority. I can handle myself. I know I can.
I rest a hand softly on my stomach, tears soaking the thin fabric of my blouse. “Looks like it’s just us two, baby.”
It’s Wednesday morning and as far as the girls know, everything is hunky-dory at home. But of course, things are far from fine. I can barely get up in the morning, not wanting to face the day ahead. But I buck up and force a smile for the benefit of my daughters. I prepare bowls of cereal. They get to have the sugary stuff this morning because I just don’t feel like arguing with them. Both my feet and the tie of my housecoat drag on the floor as I make my way about the kitchen. I can’t eat a thing, but I force myself to have a banana and a small glass of milk, for the baby’s sake. The texture of the banana against my palette repulses me.
Gabe hasn’t come home. I’m not sure where he’s spent the night, and I’m dying to know.
Chloe digs into her cereal and shoots me a curious look. “Are you okay, Mommy?”
“I’m fine, sweetie,” I lie. “I’m just tired.” I know I’ll need to tell the girls eventually. But I’m still hoping Gabe will change his mind and come back to me. I haven’t quite accepted the reality of my royal fuck-up. I haven’t quite owned it yet.
All I know is, I will need to tell the girls about the baby, their little sister or brother. And I’ll have to try to explain why Gabe is not a part of this child’s life, why he’s not the daddy.
My phone rings — the Single Ladies tune muffled in my purse. I dash around the house looking for the damn bag, wondering why I never seem to keep it in one place. When I finally spot it on the dining room table, I dig for my phone, hoping Gabe is at the other end of the line.
My heart sinks when I see it’s not Gabe.
“Hello, Mirella.”
“Hi,” I say, surprised to hear Weston’s voice — he told me he would stay away. And I truly thought he would. Suddenly, my heart is pounding a mile a minute.
“I wanted to ask you one thing,” he says, his voice soft.
“Yes?”
“Are you keeping the baby?”
I’m not sure what answer he’s searching for. Has he called to convince to me to take action and make this ‘problem’ disappear? I won’t. I tell him the truth. “Yes.”
I hear a heavy sigh, and then silence. My heart is drenched in emotion. My eyes are brimming. He has reacted just as I’d suspected. He is the cold man I’d initially thought he was.
“I’m glad,” he finally manages.
My heart seems to lift. My whole core brightens. He wants this baby too. Someone else, other than me, wants this child. I’m shocked. I never expected this.
He clears his throat. “I didn’t want you to think I wanted…because of our conversation yesterday.”
“I didn’t,” I say, the words escaping me, despite myself. The truth is, I did.
“Good.”
A long pause divides us.
“And you were right,” he says. “This is as much on me as it is on you. I’m sorry about the things I’ve said. I was just so upset. The news baffled me,” he goes on. “And this whole mess with