I sigh. “Yes, uh…Gabe was in an accident in the city last night,” I say, blatantly lying.
Chloe’s eyes grow wide. “Is Daddy okay?”
I stroke her hair. “Yes, Daddy’s all right. He’s staying at the hospital for a little bit, just for tests and stuff. But he’s perfectly fine, baby.” Now I’m lying to my daughters too. It seems I’m lying to everyone.
“Oh God,” Danielle says. “Was his nice truck wrecked to bits?”
Oh shoot.
Lying is definitely not my thing. I don’t think I’m clever enough. “Um…” I stammer, in a bind. “Amazingly, the truck is fine. Just a few nicks. It’s in the shop right now and it’ll be as good as new.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear it.”
“Well, thanks so much for looking after the girls. You folks are awesome. I’ll pay Caroline handsomely.”
“Oh, you don’t have to do that. She had fun. We all did.”
“I insist.” Seriously, a few extra dollars is the least of my concerns. Unfortunately, I have much bigger problems to worry about.
I walk aimlessly around the small gift and flower shop, not sure what to get for him. Unfortunately, there are no cards for ‘I’m sorry my husband beat the shit out of you because I’m carrying your baby’. I settle for a generic ‘Get Well’ card. I flip through all the cards which all seem so uninspired to me. Finally I settle on a card with a picture of the ocean and a sunset. Not exactly original, but I know how much he loves the ocean. I want a card that says everything I want to tell him; how sorry I am to have messed up his life, and how much I wish for his happiness, even if he chooses to no longer be part of my life, and how much I love him. I do truly love him.
I make my way to the flower shop counter and consider my options. There are so many beautiful bouquets but they all seem so feminine. What do you get for a man who’s just been beaten? I’m sure he doesn’t exactly feel very manly, or strong. It must have been humiliating for him. I’m so happy no one saw it. I’m so glad I didn’t see it. The aftermath must have been humiliating as well — his employees finding him lifeless and bloody. But thankfully, as is my understanding, he was unconscious at the time. I’m sure he’s not looking forward to going back to his office. He must despise Gabe. He must hate me. Why didn’t he press charges? He must know about the baby. Bridget knew, so by extension, he must know. This is not how I wanted him to find out. There are so many questions I want to ask.
I decide on a pretty arrangement of bright purple tulips. With their straight lines and minimalism, they are the most masculine flowers in the shop, and the contemporary clear square vase adds an edge of class.
I take a seat on the bench, and stare at the blank card.
My cell rings, the familiar tune jolts me out of my zombie-state.
“Hi, Mirella,” Gwen says. “I’m just calling because we can’t find the Princess Monopoly game. Do you have any clue where it might be?”
“It’s at the top of the closet, in the entry hall. How are things going?”
“They’re great. We just came back from the park and now we’re ready for some lemonade and a fun game of Monopoly.”
I smile. “Thank you so much, Gwen. I love you.” Gwen has been so great through all this. I can’t possibly thank her enough.
“I love you too. Have you seen him yet?”
“Not yet. I’m just trying to write a ‘get well’ card but I have no idea what to write.”
“Just write it from the heart.”
I sigh into the phone. “Easier said than done.”
“And Mirella…”
“What?”
“I’m sorry about all the bad things I’ve said about him. He seems like a decent guy…not making Gabe pay and all. I’m sorry this happened to him.”
“Me too.”
I’m so sorry.
For everything.
Love, Mirella
It’s all I can think to write. Although I know I could probably write him a book, with all the things I’d like to say to him.
When I get to the hospital reception, I encounter a frenzy. There’s a young woman with three kids in tow at the front desk. And there’s also a large multi-generational family speaking a foreign language. The place is pure chaos. When I finally get to speak to the receptionist, she tells me I won’t be able to see