see the young woman and the tears streaming down her face as she tells me goodbye so I can chase my dreams. And I see the woman who’s holding my son in her arms and my heart in her hands. I’ve loved her for so long, I don’t even remember what it’s like to not love her.
I ignore my hard cock and listen to the noises that surround me. Someone laughs outside. The water groans through the shower on the opposite side of the wall, indicating Alison is still up. And Oliver softly snoozes mere feet away in his playpen. But all those sounds don’t distract me long enough. My mind returns to her.
My Lena.
As I drift off to sleep, it’s her smiling face that accompanies me.
***
Her hands wrap around my hard dick as she gazes up at me with lust-filled eyes. Her legs hitch up over my hips as her soft hands slide along my shaft. The friction makes my eyes cross. “Shit,” I mumble, my cock so ready to slide home.
Her green eyes are dilated, but even in the dark of my room, I can see them change. The color. It changes from green to a softer brown.
What the hell?
Suddenly, I realize it’s not Lena’s face I look down at, but…Alison’s.
“Fuck me,” she whispers, the lips all wrong.
I startle awake. It takes a few seconds to register the hand on my cock, slowly stroking me to release. I jump, my eyes meeting those soft brown ones. Hers are lustful, she bites her lips seductively. It takes all of half a second to find my voice. “What the fuck, Alison!”
Oliver startles awake by my outburst, his cries echoing through the room.
She seems shocked by my language. “What? But I thought…”
“Why are you in here, Alison?” I growl, my voice harsh and low.
She stutters, “You…invited me.” Her wide eyes tear up, a few sliding down her cheek.
“No, I didn’t,” I state, righting my shorts to make sure I’m covered. My cock is already softening, even though it was so fucking close to release. The moment I realized it wasn’t Lena’s hand around me, my body started to shut down.
“You did,” she insists. “Outside. The guys said you gave them the look, not to touch me. Cookie said it was because you already claimed me.”
I run my hand through my hair and down my face before jumping out of bed to take care of Oliver. “No, Alison, I didn’t want them to fuck you and cause problems. I was making it clear you’re off-limits because of Oliver. Not because of me.”
She seems shocked and then embarrassed. She averts her eyes as I turn to my son and scoop him up from bed. He’s pissed as hell now, so I figure it’s time for a diaper change and bottle. “I’m soooo sorry,” she cries, covering her face with her hands.
“It’s…fine,” I bite, even though it really isn’t. I can’t worry about Alison coming into my room at night. This is the last thing I need to deal with right before a race. “Listen, I’m going to change him and make a bottle,” I add, positioning Oliver on my shoulder.
She steps toward the doorway. “I can make the bottle.”
“No,” I reply quickly, practically interrupting her. “No, thank you. I’ll get it. You can head back to your bed.”
Alison nods, but stops at the doorway. “Listen, Mack, I truly am sorry. I completely misunderstood what the guys were saying earlier. After Lena… I just thought that’s how you were,” she replies with a shrug, like I’m some playboy who fucks all of his nannies.
“I’m not,” I say, keeping my back to her. “Lena was…is different.”
“Please don’t fire me,” she whispers, the humiliation clear in her words.
I exhale and close my eyes for a second. Then, I set Oliver down on my bed and prepare to change his pants. “It’s fine, Alison, but please don’t come into my bedroom again.”
“I won’t. I promise,” she assures before adding, “Good night.”
And then she’s gone, leaving me alone with my pissed-off son and more questions than answers. I hear the flimsy door to the bunk shut, and suddenly I feel like I can actually breathe. I greedily suck in air and make quick work of a diaper change. Oliver reaches his hands up, as if he just wants me to hold him.
The moment I have a clean diaper on his butt, I cradle him to my chest. Quietly, I slip out of my room and make a bottle,