my team. Coop looks up and nods his head, knowing what’s coming.
I clear my throat and set my fork down. “I had a bit of a shock two days ago, and the reason is why I wasn’t here yesterday.”
Jones grins. “Twenty says it’s about a woman.”
The guys chuckle and I flash a smile. “I guess, in a roundabout way, it is.” Deep breath. “Apparently, I have a son.”
I’m met with silence in the room, so I go on. “His name is Oliver, and he’s three weeks old. The kicker is I’m now a full-time dad. His mom passed away.”
Forks drop around the table as many sets of wide eyes gape back at me. “Dude, you’re serious?” Jones asks, sitting back in his seat.
“As a heart attack.”
“That’s fucked up,” Chief contributes.
Pete, one of my tire changers, speaks next. “So you didn’t know about him?” he asks with a skeptical glance.
I’m already shaking my head as I reply. “No. I had no clue, honestly.” I decide to go ahead and give them the full story, trusting each of these guys with my life. “Do you remember Renee?”
A few snickers are heard around the table. Everyone is well aware of my relationship with Renee. It wasn’t public, but when you work as closely as I do with these guys, hanging out nonstop, especially at races, everyone’s got their nose in my business. “Of course we do,” one of them replies.
“Well, about ten months or so ago, we hung out. It was after a race, and I was, uh, looking to blow off a little steam.” No one says anything. No judgment is made, so I press on. “Anyway, she was fired not too long after that, remember? Well, I haven’t seen or spoken to her since. Apparently, she was pregnant, but didn’t say anything to me. She had a stroke a few days ago and passed away. Her mom has cancer, but said her daughter talked about me as the father. Social services showed up with my kid, and now I’m a dad full time.”
No one really says anything for several long minutes, and that’s okay. I know they’re just processing the information I dropped in their laps. “So now what?” Jones finally asks.
I lean back in my own chair. “I have a friend who’s helping me with him. She’s staying for about six weeks, and after that, I’ll use a nanny.” Just saying those words makes my heart kick up a few beats. “But the point of all this is, I’m determined to do my best for you all. I won’t let this interfere with my driving, guys. I’m committed to this team, to doing the very best.”
Chief blows out a breath. “Of course you will, man. We’ve never once questioned your loyalty or your ability. We know you’ll do what it takes.”
“He’s right. Lots of other drivers have families, and they make it work. You will too. I mean, look at Coop here. Two young kids and a wife at home. They travel when they can, and it’s pretty cool to have the littles with us.”
A handful of the guys are already nodding their heads. “I’ve got a wife at home too. We make it work,” Cookie adds. He’s my jack man. “Plus, coming home after a few days away,” he starts, whistling and grinning, “well, let’s just say that first hour home is usually a pretty intense one.”
Everyone laughs, including me, but then more images of coming home to Lena parade through my brain. “Thanks,” I tell him before turning and looking at the rest of the guys at the table. “Thanks, all of you. I’m probably going to need a slight adjustment period here, but I promise my head and my heart are where they should be.”
Coop finally speaks up from the head of the table. “Sometimes, your head and heart are pulled in two directions. Just try your best on both ends. That’s all we ask.”
I nod my agreement. Before we all dive back into the food, I add, “Just so you know, I’m not here Friday. I’m going to head to Fresno for Renee’s memorial service. I think it’s important for Oliver to go, you know?”
Coop just smiles from across the table. “You’re a good man, Cruz. We’ll see you Saturday morning for endurance training,” he adds with another sadistic smile. The guys all groan. Endurance training is running.
I hate to fucking run.
After we shovel the rest of our food into our faces, we clean up the