Griff's Place (Havenwood #4) - Riley Hart Page 0,28

now, but as far as I knew, he was straight, and he was Kell’s brother, and he was different from me when it came to what he was looking for. I couldn’t risk more than just sex with someone ever again. My brain wasn’t wired that way anymore, and that wasn’t Griff. All that kiss would have done was fuck things up, not only our friendship, but our group of friends, and potentially drive a wedge between Kellan and me.

But God, I’d wanted it. Craved it. Craved him.

And for a moment there, I was fairly sure he’d wanted the same thing.

I paced the dock so long I was surprised the wood didn’t begin to wear thin. I’d fucked up, and I wasn’t sure what to do about it.

It was a kiss—an almost kiss—and while for me, I couldn’t quite connect the dots on why it was a big deal, I knew it would have been for Griff.

I went inside, showered, got dressed, but he still hadn’t come back. I noticed his cell sitting on the counter, where he’d left it when we went swimming.

I didn’t know what to do with myself, so I puttered around the cabin, with each moment that went by my worry scurrying quicker through every inch of my body, swimming in my blood and pumping through my heart.

My hands were shaking. I tried to sit still, tried meditating even, but when I closed my eyes, all I could see were flashes of Doug, then Griff’s face instead of his. Griff banged up and broken. Griff in that bed.

“Fuck. Where the hell are you, Griffy?”

I kept telling myself there was no reason to worry. What happened with Griff wasn’t the same thing that happened with Doug. That Griff would be fine. One accident didn’t mean there would be another, but no matter how much logic fought to break through, my fear kept reinforcing the wall.

Dinner. I could get dinner going so it would be ready when he got back.

I fired up the grill, put some chicken on. When it was done, I plated and covered it.

Time didn’t stop ticking, and Griff didn’t come back, and my phone couldn’t buzz with a call because he’d left his motherfucking cell phone here.

I got a fire going in the firepit, hoping that would distract me. Evening turned to night, the air around me chilled, but I didn’t feel it. Just sat in one of the chairs, watching the red glow move. Caught between worry, anger, and confusion.

I’d wanted Griffin Caine.

I couldn’t want him. It was the worst idea.

But I did.

And I’d almost kissed him. I’d pushed because that was who the fuck I was, and he’d run, and now… God, what if…?

Lights moved across the darkness as the sound of tires on gravel filled my ears.

My leg started shaking, bouncing like crazy. The fist of fear wrapped around my heart began to loosen because I knew that sound, knew the exact noise Griff’s truck made and the sound of his gait as he made his way to me. That only made the confusion grow even more and a different kind of anxiety twist me up inside.

The second he got close to me, it was like someone took the lid off, like there had been something containing me, and now it was gone, and I just exploded.

“What the fuck, man? Don’t do that. Don’t take off like that. Jesus, I was worried sick. I thought…” What I thought was stupid, ridiculous, but that didn’t change how it felt.

Griff’s brow creased in concern. “Hey, I’m fine. What did you think happened? I said I needed some space and that I’d come back.”

I thought I’d pushed too hard. I thought I’d gotten him hurt. Goddamn it. I was freaking the fuck out.

“Hey,” Griff said again. “What’s going on with you? You’re shaking like a leaf. I’m sorry I scared you.” Griffin reached for my hands, but I jerked them out of his grasp. Ran one through my hair, which immediately flopped into place again.

My legs were jittery, like someone had injected nervous energy into me and I couldn’t stand still. I circled the fire, my chest feeling tighter and tighter with each step.

I was going to have to tell him, wasn’t I? Did I have to?

Fuck, this small voice inside me kept whispering, You want to.

“Josh, stop. Look at me. You’re scaring the fuck out of me. Should I call Kellan?”

I stopped and looked at him, could see the worry in his eyes