Great Sass (Providence Family Ties) - Mary B. Moore Page 0,7

buggers came to town, and he had an issue with something designed to help us with it being put up his nose? I’d like to see him shove a super plus one up his arse and see how it felt after six hours. Inconsiderate bastard!

“Elijah, it might be intended for the vagina, but it’ll be doing the same job up your nostril, won’t it? And it’ll put pressure on the area that’s bleeding and stop it,” I reasoned, doing my best to sound patient.

“If you shoot that up my nostril with that cardboard thing, it’ll end up in my brain, and I’ll be the guy on the internet who has an x-ray of a fucking tampon in his head. Do you know the kind of shit they’ll say about me on social media? The number of reporters who’ll harass me for an interview? How do I explain that? Have you met my family—I’ll never live it down.”

Holding it up in front of him, I removed the aforementioned cardboard from around it, and then pulled the small pair of scissors I had in the basket out, cutting the tampon in half in front of him.

“Take the half that doesn’t have a string hanging off it first. If that doesn’t stop the bleeding completely, I’ll cut the string, and you can replace it with that one.”

Giving me a frustrated glare, he shoved it up his nose and grimaced. “This is just so wrong. It feels like I’ve got a…” he stopped and tried to think of an object.

“Tampon?”

Grinding his jaw from side to side, he scowled at me. “If you tell anyone about this, I’ll get you back, and I won’t be gentle.”

Now, why did that make my nipples feel like smarties?

Chapter Three

Elijah

I’d have to be blind not to see her reaction to what I’d just said, but I was trying to be a gentleman and not stare at them. The problem was, they were pointing at me and staring.

Instead, I went and opened my mouth without thinking about what I was saying.

“I have a question to begin with.” When she nodded as she checked out my knuckles, I let fly the question that’d hit me as soon as she’d opened her door. “What the hell happened to your eyebrows and eyelashes.”

Her head slowly lifted and turned toward me as the hand holding my cut and bruised one clenched slightly. Fuck it, that hurt.

“I’m naturally very blonde.”

“That’s it? You’ve got them normally, though.” I was sure she did—something like that you’d notice.

Leaning in closer to her, I squinted at the areas in question. Sure enough, they were there, but the lashes were practically white.

“What, no jokes?” she snapped, reaching for the roll of toilet paper and taking off a bunch to put under my hand.

“Jokes?” I asked, watching her warily as she unscrewed the lid of the bottle of hydrogen peroxide. I hated that shit, it felt like acid.

I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek as she tilted the bottle so I wouldn’t make a noise. And then she poured—Christ, did she have to use so much?—making sure it got into each cut like she was being graded on it.

“Yeah, like, is your mum a sack of flour? I’ve heard a lot of shit like that over the years.”

Sadie didn’t look up from what she was doing while she spoke, and I wanted to say she was diligent because she cared about my wellbeing, but the likelihood was I shouldn’t have asked the question.

“Kids are assholes,” I mumbled, biting my lip when she prodded the deepest cut. “I used to get teased about my teeth.”

Her head came up quickly, and she stared at my mouth. Knowing what she wanted, I rolled my eyes and showed her my teeth.

“There’s bugger all wrong with them. Why did they tease you?”

“There’s nothing wrong with them now, but at the time, I had gaps at the top and weird overcrowding at the bottom,” I snickered, remembering them. “I was also scrawny for my age with really long arms.”

This time she looked at me like I was crazy, so I reached into my back pocket with my good hand and pulled out my cell to show her. Finding the photo that I wanted, I turned the screen back toward her.

Dropping my hand, she took it from me, staring at the screen in shock.

“I don’t believe that’s you. I mean—” Sadie paused, then held the phone next to my face. “Obviously, you look different with