Gravity (Greenford #2) - Romeo Alexander Page 0,36
eased into it. “I’ve learned to slow down a little. Not everything has to be done immediately and in the exact right way.”
Samuel’s silence afterward went on long enough that Caleb thought the man had drifted back into his book. That was until he snorted softly. “Boy, I guess the years have done a little bit of changing on us both then.”
Caleb took another drink. “I suppose they did. In some ways, it’s like we’re discovering one another all over again.”
Samuel looked up from his book, focusing on Caleb. “That’s a good way of putting it, actually. Kind of strange, though, isn’t it? That two people can change so much in only a few short years that it can feel longer.”
Caleb gave that a moment of thought and shook his head. “Not if they change in the right ways.”
“Right as in, correct?”
“Right as in the ways that would make them see themselves and other people differently.”
Samuel nodded, dark eyes still locked onto Caleb’s face. There wasn’t the expected hazy expression of thought on the man’s face, but something thoughtful and focused instead. Once again, Caleb found himself wondering what was going on in the other man’s head. Yet some part of him nagged, tugging at his awareness, making him wish he could bring himself to ask.
“What are you reading?” he asked instead.
To his surprise, Samuel grimaced, looking down at his device. “Uh…”
“I already know you like those really gruesome books and mysteries,” Caleb assured him. “After seeing your collection of Clive Barker, you really shouldn’t be worried about me being freaked out by what you read.”
Samuel sighed, running his finger along the edge of the device. “It’s a romance book.”
Caleb tried not to show his surprise, knowing that too strong an emotion would probably scare Samuel off. “How...long have you been reading romance books?”
“Years,” Samuel admitted quietly.
“You hate romance,” Caleb finally said.
Samuel rolled his eyes. “No. I hate romance movies. And I don’t like most people’s version of what romance is. All hearts and kisses, oh, baby, I love you forever and eternally. It’s unrealistic, unsustainable, and gives way too many people unhealthy attitudes and expectations toward an actual romance.”
“And,” Caleb looked down at the e-reader. “Romance books are better?”
“Sometimes.”
“Sometimes?”
“Sometimes they’re just as cheesy and overdone, and sometimes they’re...I don’t know, more organic, more true to life. Not like, real, this one has magic and all that. And yeah, it has moments of sweetness and intimacy, stuff that gets you all warm and fuzzy. But there are struggles and fights, and sometimes, it just breaks your heart when stuff happens in the books. These characters actually build a relationship, not just date for a week and then suddenly they’re madly in love with one another and throwing their lives away for the other cuz of ‘wuv’ or whatever.”
Both speeches were not unfamiliar to Caleb, at least not coming from Samuel. When they’d first dated, Caleb had thought it was positively the most unromantic thing he’d ever heard in his life. During their second attempt, he’d wondered if Samuel’s mentality was just a way to avoid having to get close to someone else. Looking back, he thought his second theory was a little closer to the truth, as Samuel had always been particularly good, albeit subtle, at keeping people at a distance.
Yet, he didn’t think Samuel was avoiding romance, only that he craved it as much as he possibly feared it. That fear would go a long way toward explaining Samuel’s emotional distance, and even more so, his pronounced distance from Caleb the second time they’d attempted to date.
“It hurt, didn’t it?” Caleb asked.
Samuel straightened, his device coming to rest in his lap. “What?”
“When I ended it the first time. When I ended things.”
“We’ve...never talked about that.”
“I never brought it up before, and you never brought it up.”
“Why choose now?”
Caleb shrugged. “Popped into my head, and I thought I’d take a page from your book and let the thought run loose.”
Samuel leaned back into the couch, brow knitting together. “Yeah. It hurt, it hurt a lot. But looking back, I don’t know what hurt more, the fact that you ended things when there were so many good things going for us or that you were probably right and the bad outweighed the good.”
“Did you ever make up your mind about that?” Caleb asked.
“Not really,” Samuel said slowly, his expression cautious as he watched Caleb carefully.
Caleb figured he might as well try his luck since he was getting answers. “Is that why