tells me, his voice so sincere that it makes my chest squeeze.
I give him a small smile that doesn’t quite reach my eyes. I don’t say that there’s no point in bein’ sorry, because what’s done is done. Or out of all the times I’ve wanted to remember a tribulation, killin’ Channing is the one I wish I could recall the most. Not because I want confirmation that it was, in fact, me, but because I want to see him hurtin’ the way he hurt my precious friend. I want to watch him break, the way he broke her. That must be the demon in me.
I sigh and tamp down my dark thoughts. After everythin’ that happened, I thought there must be somethin’ seriously wrong with me that I could think that way, but now that I know what I am, those dark thoughts don’t feel so illicit anymore. I don’t feel as though I need to be ashamed of them.
Maybe this is the first step in acceptin’ what I am. I am demon, hear me roar. Or in my case, maybe more of a scrappy snarl, because that feels more my style. Yeah, if it means I can stop people like Channing from hurtin’ others, then I can definitely get on board with that.
16
“We’re here,” Alder says.
I look up with surprise. I didn’t even realize we’d pulled up to the trailer park. I blame Flint’s hair playin’.
We all shake off the seriousness of what we were just talkin’ about, but instead of draggin’ down my mood, I actually feel lighter. Like talkin’ to them about it helped lift a weight off me. I haven’t talked to anyone about it except for my parents. It was nice to have someone else to tell that deep dark secret to, and Flint and Alder didn’t judge me or even bat an eye. For that, I’m grateful.
“Okay,” I say, unbucklin’ my seatbelt. “I’ll just go in and…” My voice trails off when I look over to see my daddy sittin’ on the small square of grass beneath the oak tree, sippin’ on sweet tea with his shotgun laid across his lap and Todd amblin’ around in the yard.
The three of us watch as Todd runs over to him and drops a stick at his feet before my daddy picks it up and tosses it again.
Flint’s eyes nearly bug out of his head. “Is your daddy playing fetch with his pet gator?”
I sigh. “Seems so.”
“Wait a minute. Is that…” Alder squints and leans forward. “Is he throwing your scythe?”
Now it’s my eyes buggin’ out of my head. “Oh my God.” I shove open the car door and jump out as fast as I can. “Daddy!”
He looks up at the sound of my voice and sets his drink down in the cup holder he’s jimmy-rigged into the armrest.
“Medley.”
Uh oh. He called me my given name instead of honey girl, and I have a feelin’ I know the reason. Actually, reasons, plural, because it has everythin’ to do with still wearin’ last night’s clothes and walkin’ up with two male demons behind me.
“Did you say Medley?” Mama’s voice pops out of the screen door at the same time that her head does.
The door to the trailer squeaks open when she sees me hurryin’ up, and then two hands go onto her hips as she takes me in. “Medley Bell, what in the world are you doin’? I thought you were stayin’ at AnnaMae’s last night.”
“Mama, not now,” I tell her, tryin’ to reach Todd. The bastard alligator sidesteps me like a puppy wantin’ me to play. I spin on my heel and go for the stick, tryin’ to snatch it out of Todd’s mouth, but the damn dinosaur retriever does that head shakin’ thing as soon as I get a hand around it, jerkin’ it right out of my grasp again.
“Daddy!” I call in frustration as Todd scurries away. “Tell this overgrown lizard to drop it!”
“He’s playin’,” Daddy says. “Besides, it’s just a stick.”
“It’s actually a very dangerous Hell weapon,” Alder says, steppin’ up beside me.
Daddy scowls at him, but I have a feelin’ that it has more to do with the fact that Alder drove me here and dared to speak, rather than his actual words. “Did you do anythin’ untoward with my daughter?”
“Daddy!” I admonish.
“Medley Bell, you know how we feel about you lyin’,” Mama says from the porch, and I let out a long sigh.