The Golden Lily Page 0,67

lips. "You're always the voice of reason. Just try listening to yourself once in a while."

The words were familiar. Dimitri had said something similar, that I couldn't take care of others without taking care of myself first. If two people as wildly different as Adrian and Dimitri had the same opinion, then maybe there was something to it. It gave me a lot to think about when I returned to Amberwood later.

One of the good things about Adrian's intoxication was that Jill hadn't been able to witness our talk. So the next day over lunch when I gave Jill, Eddie, and Angeline a recap of what had happened, I was able to edit the story and leave out my own breakdown. Jill and Angeline's reactions were about what I expected. Jill was concerned and kept asking over and over if Sonya and I were okay. Angeline regaled us with tales of all the things she would've done to the attackers and how, unlike Dimitri, she would have chased them through the streets. Eddie was quiet and didn't say much until the other two had left, Angeline back to her room and Jill to get ready for class.

"I thought something was wrong with you today," he said. "Especially at breakfast, when Angeline called a tomato a vegetable and you didn't correct her." I managed a half smile at his joke. "Yeah. Well, it's the kind of thing that sticks with you. I mean, maybe not for you guys. Random sword attacks in dark alleys are normal for you, right?"

He shook his head, face serious. "You can't ever take any attack in stride. People who do get careless. You have nothing to feel bad about."

I'd been stirring some sketchy looking mashed potatoes and finally gave up. "I don't like being unprepared. For anything. Don't get me wrong - I've been there when you and Rose fought Strigoi. I was helpless then too... but that's different. They're larger than life... beyond a human's scope. I don't really expect myself to be able to fight then. But what happened last night - even with the sword - was only one step away from a mugging. Mundane. And they were human, like me. I shouldn't have been so ineffectual."

"Do you want me to teach you some tricks?" he asked kindly.

That brought my smile back. "What you do is a little larger than life too. Maybe I'd be better doing something a little more suited to my level. Adrian said I should get a gun or take a self-defense class."

"That's good advice."

"I know. Scary, huh? The Alchemists do gun-training, but I'm not a fan. I do pretty well at classes and theory, though."

He chuckled. "Very true. Well, if you change your mind, let me know. After working with Angeline, I'm ready for anything. Although... to be fair, she's backed off a little." I thought back to my last real conversation with her. Her fight and suspension had only been yesterday but felt like years ago. "Oh. I sort of had a talk with her."

"What kind of talk?" he asked, surprised. "I told you not to worry about my personal life. It's my problem."

"I know, I know. But it just kind of happened. I told her that her behavior was out of line and that she needed to stop. She was pretty mad at me, though, so I wasn't sure if it had gotten through."

"Huh. I guess it did." The next words obviously were a big concession. "Maybe she's not as bad as I thought."

"Maybe," I agreed. "And look at it this way. At least her suspension means you don't have to worry about her at the dance."

From the way his face lit up, it was clear he hadn't realized that yet. A few moments later, he toughened up again. "If there are attacks going on like this, I'm going to have to be extra cautious with Jill - especially at the dance." I hadn't thought there was any way Eddie could be more cautious, but probably he'd prove me wrong. "I kind of wish Angeline was going." Most of my classes were distracting enough to keep me from thinking too much about last night, but Ms. Terwilliger's independent study was different. It was too quiet, too low-key. It gave me a lot of time in my own head, bringing back all the fear and self-doubt I'd been trying to ignore. For once, I copied and notated the spells without really memorizing them. Usually, I couldn't help