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was assuming the Warriors of Light were operating nearby, and once she found out where, the Alchemists would "deal with them." I wasn't entirely sure what that meant, but her tone made me shiver. As she'd pointed out earlier, we weren't a particularly aggressive group... though we were excellent at getting rid of problems.

"Oh," I said, just as we were wrapping up. "Did you ever find out anything about Marcus Finch?" I'd tried locating Clarence's mysterious human, who'd helped against the hunters, but had found nothing. I'd hoped Stanton might have more connections.

"No. But we'll keep looking." A slight pause. "Miss Sage... I can't emphasize enough how pleased we are with the work you're doing. You've run into a few more complications than any of us expected, yet you handle them all efficiently and properly. Even your conduct with the Moroi is outstanding. A weaker person might have yielded to Karp's request. You refused and contacted me. I'm so proud I took the chance on you."

I felt a tightening in my chest. So proud. I couldn't remember the last time someone had said they were proud of me. Well, my mother did a lot, but no one tied to my work among the Alchemists did. For most of my life, I'd hoped my father would say he was proud. I'd finally given up on expecting that. Stanton was hardly a parental figure, but her words triggered happiness in me I hadn't known was waiting to come out.

"Thank you, ma'am," I said, when I could finally speak.

"Keep it up," she said. "When I can, I'll get you out of that place and into a position that doesn't involve so much contact with them."

And like that, my world came crashing down. I suddenly felt guilty. She really had given me a chance, and now I was deceiving her. I was hardly like Liam, ready to sell my soul to the Strigoi, but I also wasn't staying objective with my charges. Driving lessons. Thanksgiving.

What would Stanton say if she knew about that? I was a sham, reaping glory I didn't deserve.

If I was truly a dedicated Alchemist, I'd change my life here. I'd stop all extraneous activities with Jill and the others. I wouldn't even attend Amberwood - I'd accept the offer of outside accommodations.

I'd only come here and see the gang when I absolutely was required to.

If I could do those things, then I'd truly be a good Alchemist.

And, I realized, I'd also be terribly, awfully lonely.

"Thank you, ma'am," I said.

It was the only response I could give.

Chapter 18

JILL DIDN'T GIVE ME any starry-eyed looks at breakfast the next morning, which was kind of a relief. Micah had surfaced again, and while they weren't as flirty as they'd been in the past, the two were chatting animatedly away about a science project she had. Eddie and Angeline were equally engrossed in conversation, making plans for when she was free of her suspension.

Her blues eyes were alight with happiness as they talked, and I realized that she had legitimate feelings for him. She hadn't just been throwing herself at him for the sake of conquest.

I wondered if he knew.

It would've been easy to feel like a fifth wheel here, but instead, I was pleased and content to see my little cohort getting along so well. Stanton's conversation had still left me conflicted, but there was nothing wrong with appreciating the peace around here. I would've been happier still if Trey's behavior had also normalized, but when I reached my history class later, he was absent yet again. I had no doubt he'd claim he had family stuff, but my earlier suspicions were returning, about whether his family might be responsible for his injuries. Should I report my worries to someone? Who? I didn't want to jump to conclusions either, which left me in a bind.

Eddie and I always sat near each other in that class, and I leaned toward him before the bell rang, pitching my voice low to address another concern. "Hey, have you noticed that Jill's been kind of acting weirdly around me?"

"She's got a lot going on," he said, ever quick to defend her.

"Yeah, I know, but you had to have noticed her last night. In the library? I mean - keeping in mind I'm terrible at figuring this stuff out - it was like she had a crush on me or something." He laughed at that. "She was kind of laying it on thick, but I don't think