It’s a great idea, to be honest. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it myself.
Because it’s sensible, Ellie. And Sean is the one that does sensible. You do silly. Hence the ridiculous idea of seducing a man you’ve only met once.
‘Thanks, Sean, I’ll give it a go. And I’ll let you know how I get on.’
‘Okay, sis. If you could see your way clear to not letting me know at ten thirty at night, when I’m still in the middle of marking English essays, that’d be favourite.’
‘Agreed. Love you lots.’
‘You too.’
I put the phone down on my clever brother, feeling ever so much better. I don’t think I’ve ever put the phone down on my brother without feeling better – especially when he’s given me some decent advice.
And I’m going to take the advice he’s given me this time, by doing a bit of constructive online investigating . . .
I grab my laptop and spend a couple of hours on social media, stalking Nolan Reece like there’s no tomorrow.
I’m not the biggest fan of Facebook or Instagram to be honest, but they are very useful ways to discover more about a person – and Nolan has recently been very active on both.
And what he’s active about is the environment – as you’d expect.
Consistently and constantly.
What he told us in that meeting the other day really does seem to ring true. He is very environmentally conscious – to the exclusion of almost everything else.
If I had decided to seduce him, I could have just dressed up like a vegan sausage, and showed him that my boobs are 100 per cent plastic-free.
Nolan’s Facebook feed is full of memes and comments about the planet, the environment, climate change, and sustainability. He doesn’t appear to have that many friends or followers, but that means nothing in this day and age. Long gone are the days of people manically adding everyone they can to their friends list to appear popular. It almost seems like it’s more a badge of honour to keep your friends list small these days.
It becomes more and more apparent as I continue the online stalking of my new boss that the only way I’m going to impress him is by persuading him that I am also an environmentally conscious person – despite the backfiring car and plastic-bottle squeezing. And I’m sure I’m not the only one in the office who thinks that way. Everyone will be wanting to prove their credentials. The question-and-answer session that I botched so magnificently proved that.
If I’m going to stand out from the crowd, I’m going to have to do something BIG. Something noticeable. Something obvious.
I have no idea what that might be, until I find a post on Nolan’s Facebook feed from a week ago that gives me the answer . . .
Someone called Jill is asking Nolan if he’ll be attending the event on Saturday ‘at the shopping centre’, to which Nolan has replied that yes, he most definitely is.
Aha!
There’s nothing much more to go on than that in the actual post, but I then spend half an hour searching for environmental events in my local area, and discover that on Saturday, at Whitehaven Shopping Centre, an organisation called Warriors For The Planet will be staging a protest.
That must be it, right?
An environmental event ‘at the shopping centre’ on Saturday?
That’s got to be it!
It’s not an official event, of course. I doubt the owners of Whitehaven particularly want an environmental protest getting in the way of their consumerism, but there’s enough buzz about it online to suggest it’s going to be well attended by those of an environmentally conscious nature.
And maybe, just maybe, if I can get down there . . . and just happen to bump into Nolan, I can show him just how green I truly am! After all, I’d have to be, if I attended an event like that, wouldn’t I?
Yes.
Yes, that’s it.
I’ll go down to the protest, find Nolan, impress the shit out of him with my heartfelt love of our planet, and make him see that keeping me on at Viridian PR is absolutely the right thing to do!
. . . stop looking at me like that.
No. Stop it.
I know it’s a deeply cynical move, but can you really blame me? This is my livelihood we’re talking about. And if keeping my job means pretending just a little bit, then so be it.