Gods of Jade and Shadow - Silvia Moreno-Garcia Page 0,93
to do it again. You have been brave, and you might have to be braver.”
“I won’t stop now, not when we are almost there,” she replied, not wishing him to assume her worries meant she’d falter at this point. “And afterward, when you are a god, we’ll laugh at all the trials we went through. Maybe they’ll even tell stories about us, like with the Hero Twins.”
She smiled. Casiopea thought this would reassure him, but instead he was rattled; he looked away. She’d been scared and now it was his turn to look anxious. She felt his dread, as if it were scraping against her skin, but it was a different sort of dread. She feared death, Xibalba, the bone shard in her hand. He feared something else.
“Listen to me, there’re not many hours in the night left. Everything will change soon,” he said, hurriedly, as if someone were chasing him. As if to emphasize this, he began pacing, back and forth he went. “Tomorrow I may be someone else. I’ll regain my throne, I’ll change. Six hours, sixteen, maybe not tomorrow, maybe sixty hours, but no matter, soon. I’ll look at you with different eyes. You must trust me, now, when I speak to you, will you?”
He kept talking, unwilling to give her a space to raise her voice, his words apparently of the utmost urgency.
“I deal in illusions. It is my gift. But it’s not an illusion. Who I am right this second with you. Do you understand? I can’t say it any better. Remember me like this, if you choose to remember me at all.”
“You’ll forget me,” she said. It was obvious in that instant what he was trying to get at, the fallibility of a god’s memory, and he stood still at last.
“No, not forget…but it won’t be me remembering and I won’t…it’s a heart here, inside this body,” he said, pressing a hand against his chest “But this is not my body, Casiopea. It’s this suit I wear, for a moment, and the moment will cease. And when that happens…”
“You will be like a stranger to me,” she concluded, and her heart, troublesome thing that it was, stuttered.
“Yes.”
“There is no ‘after,’ ” she whispered.
It wasn’t fair. But there wasn’t an “after” in stories, was there? The curtain simply fell. She was not in a fairy tale, in any case. What “after” could there be? He, sending her a postcard from the Land of the Dead? They would become pen pals? Maybe in the end what would happen is she’d hitch a ride back to her town and spend her days sweeping the floors of her grandfather’s house, nothing to show for all her efforts. Back to the first square on the board. If she didn’t end up keeling over in the next few hours, if buzzards didn’t rip her flesh.
“You’ll have your black pearls. Your heart’s desire,” he said. He sounded charitable and for once she despised his politeness. Better that he had offered her nothing.
She laughed at his words. She had never desired pearls. He didn’t know her, she thought. He didn’t know her one bit.
She woke to an ache so deep in her bones and such copious sorrow that she thought she would not be able to rise from bed. The world outside seemed muted and gray, which she thought fitting. Had it not been gray for her since birth? The burst of colors she had experienced during the past few days was the anomaly.
The mirror revealed the face of a sickly girl, her eyes heavy.
A dying girl, Casiopea thought. She inspected her left hand, trying to find the point where the splinter lodged.
There came a knock on the bathroom door. Hun-Kamé said something about leaving soon.
Casiopea jutted her chin up and put on a short-sleeved yellow dress with a small flower corsage pinned to the waist.
When they stepped out of the hotel, Martín was waiting for them. Casiopea was so surprised she almost dropped her suitcase. Hun-Kamé did not seem bothered by the unexpected appearance of her cousin, who leaned against a sleek, black automobile. Next to Martín stood a chauffeur in a neat white uniform.
“Good morning. We’ve been sent to pick you up. Lord Vucub-Kamé wants to speak to you,” Martín said, folding the newspaper he had been reading.
“How gracious of him,” Hun-Kamé replied. “We could have made our way on our own.”