Give Me War - Kate McCarthy Page 0,3
It’s been like a snowball, gathering momentum faster than we can handle it. People are loving the idea, and everyone is wanting to jump on board and help. He’s been incredibly busy, working long hours. Next year we’ll have to hire more staff and take the charity nationwide.
I’m so proud it makes me want to weep, even now, so I step forward and sweep Wolf up in my arms before my hormones have me bawling like a baby. His little hands grab on to my sleep shirt and he stares right into my eyes from an inch away.
I answer for Jared. “Heroes are ordinary, everyday people who do extraordinary things. They make the world a better place.”
Wolf plays with the ends of my hair, looking down at the dark brown strands as he speaks. “Can I be strordinary too? Like Dad?”
“You can be whatever you want to be.”
He nods, having heard that particular mantra from just about everyone in his immediate circle, which is a lot. Our circle is big and growing every day. “I’ll have my breakfast now.”
The master has spoken. I carry my little long arm of the law downstairs while Jared finds his clothes. He jogs down shortly after us, chest bare and a long pair of boardshorts hanging low on his hips. I eyeball the whole area longingly before setting Wolf down on the kitchen counter. “What’s it gonna be?”
His big brown eyes light up at the chance to choose. “Pancakes.”
Jared nudges me away. “I can do it. Go get your surf in.”
“Thanks.” Getting on my tiptoes, I go to kiss his cheek. He turns his head at the last minute and his lips capture mine, soft and loving, and somehow sad. I sway a little.
“I miss you,” he whispers.
“I’m right here.”
He shakes his head. “You know what I mean.”
“My turn,” Wolf shouts.
I give my son a quick kiss and grab the keys for the Hilux, not knowing what to say. My baby news won’t automatically bridge the widening gap between us. I’ve been scared to ask him what he’s feeling because what if … what if he resents me? A sickening pang hits me sharply as I walk away. What if we can’t get back what we had, baby or not?
“Hey!” Jared calls out as I reach the door that connects the garage to the house. Twisting the handle, I turn my head. “Be safe.”
There’s a warning in his eyes. A flash of fear. Be safe. He says it every time I leave the house without him. After years. After the shooting. Every time. Be safe.
“Always.”
I move through the door and shut it behind me. My wetsuit is hanging across the line inside the garage. I tug it up my legs and over my lacy bottoms, not bothering to put a swimsuit on. Shrugging off my sleep shirt, I toss it onto the passenger seat and put the top half of the wetsuit on. After yanking up the zipper, I’m in the car and zooming down the road in record time, my board already in the back and the beach only minutes away.
I ease the Hilux in beside Marjorie and soon I’m on my board and paddling through the waves. Spying Casey sitting on his board, I make my way over. Reaching his side, I sit up and take a deep breath, my eyes on the sun as it climbs beyond the edge of the ocean. Already I’m calmer, my to-do list put to the back of my mind. Jared was right. We’ll get it done. Together. Just like we always do. And tonight we’ll talk and clear the air before the damage becomes too great to heal. I love my husband with all my heart. We’re going to make this work. We have to. Whatever it takes.
After a moment, I turn my head. Casey’s opted for wetsuit shorts today, his bare chest tanned, evidence of time spent surfing in the sun. His hair is wet, drops of water cling to his face and shoulders. The man is too beautiful to be real. I give him a nod, moving past the usual moment of breathlessness. “Hotdog.”
He nods back. “Sandwich.”
I trail my fingers through the chilly water, trying to appear offhand. “I heard something on the grapevine the other day.”
Casey snorts and tips his head back, glancing at the sky. “Did you now?”
His response indicates he knows the subject matter I’m referring to.
“Ace and Kelly got engaged.”
“That’s old news.”
I flick water at him. He flicks it