Give Me War - Kate McCarthy Page 0,26
on edge. “Lucky I’m not a fuckin’ liar then eh?” His eyes shoot back to Grace. “What about the cops?”
I lean down, whispering in Grace’s ear.
“It’s our call,” she tells him. “We’ll deal with the fallout.”
His eyes harden. “You best deal with it, darlin’, or else.”
Casey is a single breath away from vaulting across the table and knocking Bingo to the ground, but Grace is squeezing his hand so tight his fingers turn purple.
The meeting adjourns after the details are ironed out. Bingo and his entourage leave, roaring out into the dusky night. The rumbling engines fade as I walk out of the building, finding myself in the driveway that leads to the undercover parking.
We’re going to get her back, I tell myself, over and over, but it does nothing to ease the fear.
Travis appears beside me, silent as a cat, and I speak my thoughts aloud. “All I’ve thought about is getting her back. It’s been my only focus. I haven’t stopped to think until now, what happens after that. What if she…” Fuck. My knees feel loose. “What if she doesn’t want to come back? To me? This entire shitfest is my fault. Just like Jimmy was my fault. I’ve been terrified of this happening ever since the last time. This business, it’s too dangerous. It makes Evie a target. And Wolf.” My vision blurs and I drop my head.
“It’s not your fault. It was Jimmy’s, and now it’s the Vipers.”
“But what I do puts them both in the line of fire. I tried to walk away once, after she got shot, but I couldn’t stay away, and now she might die because of it.”
“Don’t, Jared.”
I let out a shaky breath. “It’s the only way I know how to keep my family safe.”
Travis grabs my shoulder, forcing me to look at him. “Don’t you dare walk away. And don’t you ever doubt her love for you. She knows this business is a part of who you are. She would never ask you to give it up. Just like you wouldn’t ask it of her.”
“Don’t you get it, Trav? I don’t doubt her love for me, or mine for her. But love alone isn’t enough to keep her safe.”
“No, you don’t get it, brother. Love is everything. It’s bigger than life. And worrying about the bad stuff happening just keeps you from enjoying the good.”
I breathe out slowly and walk away from my brother, making my way up the drive. I stare out blindly, wishing I could go back to this morning. The way we were touching, knowing our son was safe in the next room. My hands on her warm skin, her eyes dark and sleepy and filled with hunger. Only this time I’d tell her I got so caught up on my own sense of failure it eclipsed all else. This time I’d tell her I’m sorry. That I love her with everything I have. But now there’s a chance I might not get to tell her anything at all. And that’s on me.
I glare at the map of Sydney. Once spread out on the meeting table, we shifted it to our control room before Bingo’s arrival, pinning it to the oversized corkboard on the wall. Everyone returned from scouting each pinned location with nothing. We sent them back out to keep watching. Night has turned to dawn and Evie is smoke. Nothing but a wisp on the wind.
With a growl of rage, I fist the map and rip it from the wall.
The room goes quiet.
“Lorenzo Rossi,” I snarl into the tense silence.
Everyone looks at me.
“He’s the only one we know who’s with her.”
“Okay?” Mitch says, in a tone urging me to go on.
“He’s undercover with the AFP. I know you mentioned hacking the system to find his location wasn’t possible.”
My brother shakes his head. “That kind of information won’t be recorded.”
“Okay, what about his contact? Can’t we go put the hurt on him?”
“That information won’t be recorded either. I have no idea who it is. Rossiter doesn’t know either. He couldn’t tell me even if he knew, Jared.”
“You sure about that?”
“I’m sure. They don’t compromise deep undercovers for anything.”
“Evie isn’t just anything!” I yell, reaching breaking point. “Someone in the AFP knows where Evie is and they’re not telling. They think this operation is more important than my wife?”
My phone rings, vibrating in the back pocket of my jeans. I yank it free, checking the screen. It’s Mac. I send it to voicemail with the press