them, and they need us. You and me, and what we do—the Résistance.’
I sat quietly, thinking of what I’d done for the Résistance, and then sat up. He asked me if I was all right.
‘Do you know…’ I looked in his eyes, gulping. ‘Do you know what I’ve done for the Résistance?’ The flutter I felt deep inside turned into a hot ball of nerves when he looked away, into the distance. ‘Luc?’
‘Well, do you know what I’ve done?’ he said, and there was a pause. ‘What I mean is, we do what we have to.’
When we have to.
‘Understand?’ he said, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt closer to one person in my life.
‘Yes,’ I said, and I took his hand. ‘But I realized something this morning I hadn’t before. Maybe it was the rocks caving in around me like a tomb, or maybe it was the light of day on my face that made me wake up. One thing I know for certain. The work has to be my own.’ I looked up from our hands. ‘It’s time for me to carve my own path in the Résistance.’
We kissed again, only this time long and slow, the sun sinking very low into the hills, turning all the leaves in the trees fire-orange, and the moment felt right. I tugged on his hand. ‘Come on,’ I said, and I led him to the bubbling hot spring steaming behind us where I slipped off my dress.
He pulled his shirt up over his head and unbuckled his pants. I shivered from a forest chill, and he embraced me in the night, hands sliding down my bare back, thinking I’d trembled. ‘Are you nervous?’
His question caught me off guard, then I remembered what Charlotte had said to me. And she was right, when you’re in love there’s no time for nerves.
‘No,’ I breathed. ‘I’m not.’ We eased into the pool, and he held me close, kissing me lovingly as leaves fluttered off long branches and tumbled like pinwheels over the forest floor in the quiet black, black night.
*
We fell asleep next to a crackling fire, cuddled in blankets Luc had stashed in a nearby vehicle. Résistants who had rendezvoused with their lovers shared similar makeshift beds in the forest and around the camp. I woke at the break of dawn to his arms wrapped around me. I felt his biceps, thinking he was still asleep, but he was very awake.
‘It’s from the parachutes,’ he said.
I raised my head up. ‘I was teasing when I asked if you had flown in with your radio.’ I felt him again, wondering if we’d ever be able to lie in the sun out in the open one day. I wished it, closing my eyes and imagining it, but everything had changed now with the Germans.
‘Hear that?’ Luc said, and my eyes popped open. He shifted under the covers, listening. Others sat up. The drone of a faraway aeroplane turned into a roaring squadron of German fighters flying over the treetops. ‘They can’t see us,’ he said, but I was shaking as they flew over us lying in the trees.
They’d come out of nowhere, furious, and we watched them disappear, flying south. I swallowed. ‘What’s going to happen to us now?’ I said.
‘The Wehrmacht will drive south to fight the Allies in North Africa,’ he said. ‘And try to take the French fleet.’
I gasped. ‘There really won’t be anything left of France, will there? But, what about here, Luc?’ I said. ‘How will life change in Vichy?’ I searched the sky, wondering how our lives would change even more than they already had.
‘Expect more restrictions. When the fleet falls into German hands, Pétain won’t have any leverage, and the government will have to do what the Reich says. We’ve heard whisperings about a French-style Gestapo.’ He looked at me. ‘How many guns do you have?’
‘I don’t have one,’ I said, and I think he was surprised. ‘Mama has one hidden in her floor, but…’
‘I think you need one of your own.’ Luc reached into his pack and pulled out a gun, not a big one, but not as dainty as Mama’s either. ‘Here, let me show you how to shoot it.’
I slipped on my ratty housedress and we moved into some trees. Luc stood behind me—his presence comforting—his arms and hands lifting mine into an aim. ‘See that tree?’ he said. ‘Aim at the knot in the middle.’