I would have thought she’d just taken a bath. She adjusted her skirt, tucking it under her folded legs. She had a Bible in her hands, which was bound in leather, tiny pieces of paper she used to mark her thoughts dangling from nearly every page. She smiled politely before opening it up, scanning the words with a loosely pointed finger, her eyes wondrously searching for something new and exciting.
‘Mavis,’ I said, looking at her curiously. ‘When did you know you wanted to be a nun?’
Her voice was quiet-soft. ‘Oh, I don’t know… maybe twelve or so.’ She smiled. ‘I’m twenty-two now.’
I was surprised to hear she’d decided at such young age, and I was sure she could see it on my face. ‘Twelve? You knew… at only twelve? But at that age you—’ I paused, hoping I wasn’t going to sound too disrespectful, but there wasn’t a delicate way to say it. ‘You’ve never been in love. You won’t know what it feels like. Ever.’ I felt sorry for her instantly, but she only laughed.
‘Jesus is all I ever needed, or wanted.’
‘Certainly, but the touch of a man, a brush of his finger on your bare shoulder, the smell of his cologne on a warm day—’
‘My, Adèle!’ Mavis blushed from my words. ‘Sounds like you’re well versed in these things. Have you been in love?’
I shrugged. With Gérard I only felt shivers. ‘My sister said being in love first feels like a butterfly’s wings fluttering deep inside, that it pulls from within making you feel wonderful yet vulnerable and fragile as a hollow egg.’
‘I feel that with Jesus, Adèle…’ She had sat up and talked about the first time she knew she wanted to be a nun, how she could hear bees buzzing even from kilometres away and that everything seemed crisp and clear as a freshly washed glass. Her voice didn’t squeak like it had earlier, and for the first time since knowing Mavis these past long weeks, I admired her for knowing what she wanted to do with her life, since I was still searching. ‘I knew my love for him before I arrived here. A postulant has to be sure. Temptation for another would get me dismissed, and I’d be ashamed.’
Mavis held her Bible close to her chest, pausing. ‘What about you? When did you realize you wanted to help the sisters? Something must have inspired you.’
‘Me?’ I put my hand to my chest.
I didn’t want think about the day I decided to leave Vichy, mostly because of how I left things with Charlotte. There were no bees or epiphanies about the world that got me on the train like Mavis, but something rather unexpected and serendipitous.
Charlotte sat in a cushioned chair with her feet propped up, wrapping a wide yellow ribbon around a bouquet of peonies, talking about how happy she was I had decided to put down some roots.
‘Just one more day,’ Charlotte said. ‘Then you’ll be married like me!’ She smiled, tightening the ribbon around the stems. ‘You’ll look lovely with this bouquet in your hands tomorrow.’
‘At my funeral,’ I said, but she paid no attention to me as I sat in the windowsill of her boutique, looking out into the street.
‘I’m not the only one excited about your union. Henri is very pleased as well.’ She smiled, but then again, she smiled every time she mentioned her husband’s name. ‘He’ll be there, you know, for your wedding.’
Henri was always working, either in Paris or in the south for the regime. I know his absences pained Charlotte, but she never mentioned it.
‘Oh, that’s nice,’ I said, and she looked up.
‘You know how hard it is for him to get away,’ she said.
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘I know.’
‘I heard Gérard got a case of expensive champagne for after the ceremony, and you’ll dance and you’ll be in love, and…’ Charlotte kept talking about my wedding and then stopped abruptly and patted her pregnant belly. ‘And who knows, maybe in no time we’ll be mothers at the same time too!’
‘Mmm.’
A mother with her young daughter walked into the boutique. Charlotte instantly lit up. ‘Adèle!’ She waved for me to bring her a few extra flowers, and then gave them to the little girl. I watched Charlotte as she talked to her, brushing a golden lock of hair from the child’s eyes as if she was already a mother herself with babies all around.
‘You are the sweetest thing,’ Charlotte said to the girl. ‘If it’s all right