a meter from me. He is so close I can see droplets of water on his carved shoulders. “I’ve been out over a minute. I didn’t see you come up for air.”
Adamantly, I shake my head. “I did not cheat!”
Aksel’s mouth tilts upward, like he wants to smile but can’t. “I wasn’t worried about you cheating …” The word lingers in the air.
We stare at each other in uneasy silence. The fervor in his eyes doesn’t subside. He runs a hand through his wet hair, pushing it off his face. We both tread water; at some point our legs brush by each other.
“You’re not exactly who I thought you were,” Aksel finally says.
“Who exactly did you think I was?”
Aksel looks at me in a way that feels like he is looking through me, not at me, before saying, “Come on, this way.”
Unsure if he has complimented or criticized me, I roll onto my side and swim after him. Back near the flat rocks, a bubbling current of hot water drifts into the lake. We swim through a crevice between two rocks and into the pocket of hot springs. The warmth is instantaneous. I was wrong: this part of the lake is like Reykjadalur.
Above us the night sky is clear—a sea of gemstones sparkling against indigo silk. Silhouetted against the sky, the mountain hovers above us like a jagged triangle cutting into the night.
Aksel watches me pensively; behind his smile, his eyes are simmering.
“What is it?” I ask, sensing that tension in the air between us like a thick fog.
“When I saw you in Berlin,” Aksel says abruptly. He pauses, as if giving me an opportunity to stop him. I hold his gaze steady.
“You were pale,” he sighs. “Your eyes were hollow; you looked more ghost than person, except …” He leans against a rock, staring into the sky.
I swallow, but keep my eyes on his. “Except what?”
“Except you were the one being haunted,” he says softly.
Aksel leans toward me. His eyes glint in the steam swirling around us. “Sophia, I didn’t think I would ever see you again and yet I still remembered you, and it wasn’t because you were beautiful—I mean, you were, you are beautiful,” he adds, and a blush rises up his neck—“but it was the way you walked, with those men on either side of you holding your elbows, like they could touch you but not actually touch you. Like you possessed some ethereal power to prevent them from hurting you.”
Shouting … warm blood … running … engines.
Sparks of light flash behind my eyelids; I’m concentrating so hard to prevent it.
My body is hot, but my face is cold. I dunk my head into the near-scalding water. I stay under until a large hand grips my left forearm.
“Hey,” Aksel says sharply, pulling me out of the water. “Careful.” His eyes flash with concern.
I can see every wet eyelash, every water droplet on his skin. Steam rises up from the hot springs and swirls in mist around us.
Something about Aksel ignites every nerve in my body.
He exhales slowly. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
“It’s not that.” I wipe the condensation off my face.
Aksel’s chest heaves with each breath; his body is broad and sculpted and I truly have no idea how he is only a senior in high school. An American high school.
Yet, he saw me in Berlin. It has to be a coincidence. And maybe, if I tell myself it is only a coincidence enough times, I’ll start to believe it.
I climb out of the hot springs and sit on a burnished rock at the edge. I tug my knees up to my chest. “Aksel, what happened … before … I can’t …”
He hoists himself up onto the rock beside me. Tentatively, he wraps his arm around my back. Nestled in the crook of his shoulder my skin is hot from the water, cold from the night air, and warm beside Aksel.
“You don’t have to,” he says firmly.
My palm is open, resting on my thigh. He takes my hand and weaves his fingers into mine. He presses the top of my hand with his thumb.
Deep inside me, something triggers.
Whether I want to admit it or not, I know that Berlin is only the beginning. Our lives are irrevocably connected, and I just don’t know how deeply.
Above us, a tiny clump of clouds sweeps past, temporarily veiling the moon.
I feel something for the first time in more than eighteen months.