A Girl From Nowhere (The Firewall Trilogy #1) - James Maxwell Page 0,150
later on. He eventually learned to keep his mouth shut, but the beatings became a habit. Almost every time his parents argued, one of them saw him and came storming toward him, while all he could do was raise his arms in front of his face.
Selena didn’t want to use the memory. It felt wrong, in every way.
But she also didn’t want to die.
She retreated from the memories and returned to the whirling storm of Arren’s thoughts. She formed a thought of her own and held on to it with all of her power, feeling the radiance well within her as she slammed the idea home.
You are not talented, you’re cursed.
Selena used the withering tones of Arren’s mother. He would feel that his mother was inside his mind. For his entire youth, his mother’s voice had made him feel fear, self-loathing, and anxiety.
Like a swordsman launching a flurry of blows, Selena continued.
All you do is hurt the people around you. Just give up. What do you have to live for? You might as well be dead.
Selena sensed Arren’s anguish.
The last thought Selena drove home was one of contempt. Worm.
Then, once she was done, Selena retreated.
With a jolt, her eyes refocused as she found herself again within her body. She stood with her fists bunched at her sides. Her teeth were gritted so tightly that her jaw hurt. Arren was in front of her. The dagger was between them. A solid thrust would end Selena’s life.
But, rather than stab, he blinked and stared in confusion at the knife in his hand. His gaze continued to move, to the tear in his tunic and the wide blood stain spreading across the material.
The dagger dropped out of his hand.
Arren’s arm fell. His eyes slowly closed. His knees buckled underneath him as he collapsed to the sand.
Yet even in victory, Selena felt a sickening sensation. Every fiber of her being recoiled at what she had done.
To defeat her enemy, she had been forced to understand him and to use his fears against him. Her own upbringing had been far too similar to his. People had mistrusted her ever since her talent had surfaced. She had been beaten for trying to save a man’s children. Settlers had abandoned her in the wasteland, only for her to find her way back to them. Her youth had been spent moving from group to group. All she had ever wanted was to remove her curse.
She was still holding on to her power, and had never taken on so much of it.
Her legs felt weak. She staggered and then crumpled to the ground.
Something inside her snapped.
She was thrown outside her body, but this wasn’t like anything she had experienced before. She floated upward while the stars above spun around and around with dizzying ferocity. The fighting pit fell away beneath her. She managed to glance down and saw that she was above the arena, which swiftly became smaller. The white-walled houses reflected the moonlight. The grid of streets and avenues blurred together. Soon the city was a pale, circular disc. A long line of campfires glittered outside.
The sense of horror stayed with her. Her very identity, her sense of knowing who she was, began to fade away, leaving a confusion of thoughts that jostled together so that none of them was able to take shape.
As she continued to rise higher and higher, she once more stared up at the sky. She was strangely drawn to the stars. They were so peaceful. Peace was what she desired most of all.
If she traveled high enough, she could leave the world behind.
Taimin shook Selena’s body hard, but still she gave no reaction. She was perfectly motionless, legs folded beneath her as she sat with shoulders slumped on the sandy floor of the arena. Her eyes were unfocused. Her chest wasn’t moving.
Taimin glanced at the thin-faced man’s body and the dagger that lay flat on the sand. He tried to understand what was happening but couldn’t. Selena hadn’t been hurt physically as far as he could see.
Griff gave a growl that ended in a whimper. His lean body sprawled out with his wings fluttering. His sad eyes watched Selena intently; he knew that something was wrong. Beside Taimin, Rei-kika’s antennae twitched in agitation.
Taimin put his ear against Selena’s mouth. He looked imploringly at Rei-kika. “What’s happening? Why isn’t she breathing?”
“Selena fought for her life. She defeated her enemy, but her lifeline is broken,” Rei-kika said. “She is no longer connected to her body.”