The Girl is Not For Christmas - Emma V Leech Page 0,86

and went to stand by the window, staring out a day that was full of soft grey mists that hung low and clung to everything like spun sugar.

“Pride, Harry,” King said with a sigh. “We’re all guilty of it. Hard for your father to let his little sister take over the running of the estate.”

“Yes, so he ruined us instead.”

The bitterness of the words was so raw King’s heart ached.

“Harry,” he said, moving closer to the lad.

To his astonishment, Harry turned and flung his arms about him, sobbing, his thin frame racked with emotion.

King froze, uncertain what on earth to do. Small children and women were one thing, but…. He had a sudden, vivid memory of being about Harry’s age and his beloved dog dying. She had been old and sick, and the end hardly unexpected, but he had been distraught all the same and had turned to his father for comfort.

“Emotion is for the lower orders,” the marquess had said coldly. “Go to your room until you can behave in a manner that does not bring you disgrace.”

It had helped, at least, for misery had become anger, and King had sworn to hate his father until the day he died.

With the memory clear in his mind, King hugged the boy tight.

“I’m so sorry, Harry.”

Harry wept a moment longer before getting himself back under control. His cheeks were burning, and he could barely meet King’s eye.

“I… I beg your pardon, my lord.”

“Oh, stuff that,” King said impatiently. “I told you, it’s King, and we all feel like blubbing now and then. God knows I have of late.”

“Y-You?” Harry looked at him with such frank astonishment that King could not help but laugh.

“Yes, me!” he exclaimed. “Did you think I was made of stone? Did you not hear me weeping and screaming in terror when I was out of my senses with drink? My God, Harry. We are none of us perfect. Not your father, not you, and most certainly not me. We are all flawed, doing our best, muddling through. Sometimes we will succeed and sometimes we will fail. It’s how you face failure that makes you a man though, Harry. Taking responsibility for your own actions and dealing with the consequences is what makes us stronger, not weaker.”

Harry nodded, standing a little taller. He was pale and his eyes were red, but he looked thoughtful. He took a deep breath before he spoke again, “I won’t ever be able to go back to school, will I? Nor go to university?”

The words were flat, spoken with no inflection, no emotion, just a finality that was heartbreaking.

King felt impotent rage swell in his chest. “Yes, Harry, you will. If there is anything I can do about it, you will. I… I don’t know how, and it might take me a little time, but….”

Surely he could get someone to pay for such a promising young man’s education. He cast about in his mind, coming up with the names of two wealthy widows who had promised him a reward for… well, never mind what for, he didn’t wish to remember that, but they might do this for him.

Harry was staring at him, wide-eyed. “B-But I couldn’t ask—”

“You didn’t ask, I offered,” King retorted. “And if I wasn’t in such a… a bind myself I’d pay for every last farthing gladly, but… well, my father is a good deal worse than yours, lad, so take comfort in that, at least.”

“I don’t know what to say.” Harry was bright-eyed, looking very much as if he might weep again.

“Don’t say anything, not to anyone,” King said firmly. “I can’t say for certain I can do it but… but I swear I’ll do my very best for you, Harry. Word of honour.”

King held out his hand and Harry took it, shaking it with such an expression of sincere earnestness that King’s throat grew tight.

“King, I… I know I ought not ask such an… indelicate question....”

King snorted at that. “Ah, Harry. It’s a bit late for that and we’re both men of the world are we not. Out with it.”

“Couldn’t you marry Livvy? I think she likes you very much.”

Damn him for not seeing that coming. It took him a moment to shift the stone that had somehow lodged in his throat. “I can’t,” he said, hardly able to meet the boy’s eye. “I would if… but I can’t. Besides, she deserves better than me.”

The disappointment in the boy’s eyes was almost enough to dissolve any remaining shreds