The Girl Next Door - Emma Hart Page 0,4
them shut to stop myself from crying, but it was futile. The tears spilled over my lower lids and onto my cheeks at a rate of knots I couldn’t keep up with.
I didn’t even know why I was crying.
But here I was. Standing in the middle of my living room, holding a bag of Chinese food, crying my heart out. It was probably a crying session that had been building ever since I’d seen the first positive test this morning, but still.
Was this my life for the next eight months? Random crying sessions?
I’d have to invest in waterproof mascara.
And now Kai had a date. A date I’d just ruined because I couldn’t take a hint.
God, I was so dumb.
Dumb, pregnant, and alone.
That only made me cry harder.
I managed to get to the kitchen island, where I set the food down on the counter and managed to sit on a stool. Then I collapsed forward, burying my face in my arms.
Two knocks rattled my door. “Ivy?”
I couldn’t have answered Kai even if I wanted to. I was crying too hard to string two words together.
Thankfully, I didn’t have to.
The door opened. “Oh, Jesus.” It swung shut with a bang, and before I could even look up, Kai was pulling me up off the stool and into his arms.
He tucked me tightly against his body, cupping the back of my head and holding my face against his chest. He didn’t say a word, he just let me cry it out against his white shirt until I couldn’t cry anymore.
At least I didn’t think I could cry anymore. I wasn’t sure how anything worked now.
“I’m sorry I ruined your date,” I mumbled into his chest.
“My date?” He paused, then laughed, his whole body shaking. “That was my sister. Her timing apparently leaves a lot to be desired,” he said dryly.
His sister?
Oh.
Ohhh.
“She broke up with her boyfriend a couple of weeks ago and needed a break so she’s staying with me. I’m surprised you haven’t seen her.”
I swallowed. “I’ve been avoiding your apartment.”
“Okay.” He slipped his hands up my body and cupped my face. “I assume you haven’t eaten if you got takeout?”
I shook my head.
“Okay. Then let’s eat before we talk.” He released me and got to pulling all the cartons out of the bag. “Are you hungry?”
“I have no idea.” I sat back down on the stool. “All I know is that you smell like coffee and it makes me want to throw up.”
He peered over at me, quirking one eyebrow. “Coffee makes you sick?”
“I threw mine out and ordered one hundred and twenty hot chocolate pods for my machine.”
“Why did you order one hundred and twenty?”
“It seemed like a good idea at the time.” I sighed, echoing my thoughts from earlier. “And they only came in packs of thirty.”
“You could have stopped at sixty. Or ninety.”
“I know, but there was an offer. Look, I don’t have to explain my pregnant pre-nap purchases, okay?”
He flashed me a look that said he was trying desperately not to laugh at me. “Here. Eat this and you’ll feel better.”
“Let’s hope,” I muttered, looking at my chow mien with trepidation.
It was wild in my body today. Nothing was a given.
“Why are you playing with your food?” Kai sat down next to me.
I prodded some chicken with my fork. “I’m trying to decide if it makes me feel sick or not.”
He nodded slowly. “That makes… sense.”
I sighed, setting my fork down. “Are you mad?”
“What am I supposed to be mad at?”
I pointed at my pelvis with both hands.
“Your vagina?”
“Kai.”
He put down his own fork and took my hand. “Am I mad that two consenting adults got drunk, had sex, and you’re now pregnant? No. I think I’m in shock, but I’m not mad. And I’m not the one who has to consider if my food is going to make me throw up, so I’m not really in a position to moan about anything right now.”
“It was my fault,” I replied quietly, looking down. “I missed a pill when my grandma went to hospital, but I didn’t realize. I’m sorry. I popped it out of the strip and—”
“Stop it.” He cupped my chin and lifted my head so I had to meet his eyes. “Ivy, we both decided to have sex without a condom. We knew the risks, drunk or otherwise. We’re both equally responsible for this. Okay?”
I didn’t respond.
“Okay?”
“Okay,” I said softly. “You don’t have to stay, you know.”
“You are not saying what I think you’re saying,