was also aware how far away I was from a future like this.
The night air was cooler now and scented with the hint of wood smoke.
I wandered in the direction of the flames, the chatter. Tried to find the party mood again.
I spotted her. Even in the dark, I could pick her out.
Shelby was standing on the outskirts of the fun, observing.
“Hiding out?” I asked, stepping up next to her.
She startled and slapped a hand to her chest. “Are you professionally trained as a ninja?”
“Order of the silent-footed,” I said seriously.
She nudged me with her shoulder. “Funny guy.”
She still looked tired.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
She lifted her lips in the ghost of a smile. “Everything’s just about perfect,” she confessed. “I really like this place.”
I crossed my arms so I wouldn’t give in to the urge to pull her into my side. Apparently, I was a mess of feelings today.
“It’s one-of-a-kind,” I commented.
“I think I like it so much I’m avoiding my dissertation. I have all the research I could possibly need. The survey answers are pouring in. The outline and hypothesis are set in stone. But every time I sit down to write it, I get wrapped up in the fun of collecting the information.”
“What are you going to do when you’re done with it?” I asked.
“I’m not really sure. I’m hoping to get a research job with a university or some academic organization.”
“Will you go back to Pittsburgh?” I pressed.
“I hope so. But I’m open to someplace new if the job fits. I don’t want to make any plans until I know where the job is, what the work is. What about you? Are you sticking around here?”
“I was just thinking about it. I haven’t decided. I have family here. But I don’t know if that makes it home.”
“What makes a place a home?” she asked.
“Are you analyzing me right now?” I teased.
“Aren’t you adorable? I analyze everyone.”
I nudged her, and we started for a pair of chairs on the edge of the action. “Well, don’t keep me in suspense, doc.”
“Don’t even jinx me like that, Jonah. That doctorate is within reach, but I sure as heck don’t have it yet.”
“Stop stalling. Tell me everything that’s wrong with me.”
She snort-laughed, and it chased the shadows out of my chest.
“First of all, there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re remarkably normal.”
“Considering?” I prodded.
“Considering that you grew up without a father,” she said.
That was probably high praise from someone with a background in psychology.
“Judging by how you interact with women,” she continued. “I would guess that your mother was strong, independent, but also loving. She taught you respect and didn’t let you feel like you were missing out on too much. How am I doing so far?”
I nodded slowly. “So far pretty spot on.”
She smiled smugly. “I thought so. Now, let’s dig below the surface.” She was warming to the topic.
“You show up here a week after the funeral of Jonah Bodine Sr., which suggests you were peripherally aware of him. Which in itself suggests you weren’t interested in developing a relationship with him. However, you were very much interested in meeting your half-siblings.”
“I spent most of my life hating Jonah Bodine,” I admitted. “In my mind, he ruined my mom’s life. She was working toward a degree. She could have had a career. Met a nice psychologist or lawyer or bartender. But he took that away from her.”
“He or you?” Shelby asked astutely.
“You’re annoyingly perceptive.”
“I do what I can,” she joked airily.
“Anyway, I hated my father for a long time. But at some point, I realized it had been the pregnancy and the resulting baby—me—who had derailed Mom’s life. She sacrificed it all to keep me.”
“And when you voiced this to your mother?” Shelby asked.
“How did you know?” I shook my head. “Never mind, creepy psychic woman. It gave me a few rough years in high school thinking that I was the problem. I had some anger issues. Acted out. Acted like a teenage asshole. But she never gave up on me.”
“Of course not. Probably because—and I’m just guessing here—she felt that her decisions had lessened your life in some way,” she mused.
“This is creepy. Is this what you do all day?”
Shelby laughed, and I liked the sound of it. “The reasons why people do things are fascinating. So tell me about your mom and your rocky teenage years.”
I was proud of how the two of us had come out of it. The choices we’d made. “She saw right through me,