time she’d initiated any physical contact between us. Every time I’d touched her before, it had been to catch her or stop her from falling.
“Is there a problem here?” All three hundred pounds of George Thompson was headed in my direction. I’d seen the man flip a tractor tire like it was a child’s toy. I didn’t want to give him a shot at me.
Gibson stepped in George’s path. Not so much to stop him but more to slow him down a bit.
“The problem is that my roommate is a nightmare, and I can’t live like this anymore,” Shelby screeched.
“The real problem is I’ve been saddled with a vulture circling around trying to tear off pieces of the carcass of my father!”
“Okay, now, that’s enough airing of the grievances,” Sheriff Tucker said, ambling into the fray.
The music cut off, and every single Bootlegger gave us their full attention. I heard beers popping open everywhere.
My brothers were trying to ease their way in between us. Scarlett was climbing over deck railings to get closer.
Shelby stepped in closer so we were toe-to-toe.
“You know what? I’d like to press charges, Sheriff Tucker. I’ve been verbally assaulted and emotionally attacked.”
“Well, now, Shelby, I can understand why you’re feelin’ what you’re feelin’,” the sheriff said, trying his best to placate.
“Screw this,” I bellowed. “You want the house to yourself? Well, you can have the whole damn town, too. I’m leaving.”
“Jonah Bodine, you’re not going anywhere!” Scarlett howled.
“Listen, man, we can work this out,” Bowie said, laying a hand on my shoulder. I shrugged him off.
“I want you out of my life,” Shelby said. She gave me a solid push, both hands to my chest, and I went from standing on the deck to falling backward. I waved my arms like a bird trying to take flight, but the blue bathwater of the lake enveloped me.
I stayed under long enough to let the scene play out a bit on the surface.
When I surfaced, it was to pandemonium.
Sheriff Tucker was slapping handcuffs on Shelby while Cassidy looked on horrified. “Dad, what are you doing?”
“That was assault, clear as day,” Sheriff Tucker insisted. “And according to Ordinance 417.2, journalists that assault any resident are required to leave town immediately.”
“How dare you!” Shelby said, making a good show of trying to kick him.
“Oh my god. Don’t assault an officer!” Cassidy went low and tried to hold Shelby’s legs.
June stood in front of George, looking vaguely concerned and trying to keep him from jumping in the water and drowning me. Gibson was helping June.
“Let’s all calm down here,” Jameson said, standing on a beer cooler.
Scarlett had her hands to her face. “This is all my fault!”
“You’re damn right this is your fault,” Shelby howled as Sheriff Tucker tried to perp-walk her to his waiting boat.
Scarlett jumped in front of them, waving her arms like an inflatable car lot balloon. “Wait! Shelby’s not a journalist! It was a misunderstanding! We were just teasin’ Jonah, and maybe I was playing a little matchmaker, too. And it got out of hand. You can’t throw Shelby out of town and, Jonah, don’t you even think about moving away!”
I swam toward the nearest deck and let Nash Larabee and Opal Bodine pull me out of the water. George picked June up and physically moved her out of his way and then barreled in my direction. The deck swayed as the ex-pro football player charged.
Gibson slid between me and George’s helmet-sized fists at the last moment.
“No one treats my sister badly,” George insisted.
“Yeah, and no one pounds my brother into oblivion,” Gibson said quietly.
Shelby quit screaming and started laughing. I sloshed over to her and threw an arm around her shoulder.
“Think that about does it?” Sheriff Tucker asked, his mustache twitching.
“I’m happy,” I said. “Shelby? How do you feel?”
“I feel real good, sheriff.”
“What in the good goddamn is happening?” Scarlett asked from the prison of Devlin’s arms.
“It appears we’ve been had,” Bowie said.
Cassidy let go of Shelby’s legs. “You two planned this?”
Shelby nodded, still grinning. I gave her a soggy, one-armed hug.
“Of all the low-down, sneaky, underhanded…” Scarlett escaped Devlin’s grip and advanced on us. Devlin made a slashing motion across his throat, clearly not wanting any credit for being in the know. “Brilliant schemes! You really are one of us!”
Scarlett gave me a tight hug, not caring that I was wetter than the lake.
“I’m so proud right now,” she sniffled in my ear.
“I learned from the master,” I said, tweaking her nose.