Wearing a shit-eating grin, I went in search of the groom and found all hell breaking loose instead.
Gibson was holding Misty Lynn at arm’s length, a look of abject horror on his face.
“Just give me another chance, Gibs,” she wailed, eyeliner smeared under her eyes.
“Someone needs to tell that girl that desperation ain’t attractive.” Mayor Hornsbladt sighed into his sweet tea.
“How dare you try to ruin my brother and my best friend’s wedding?” Scarlett snarled. “I knew invitin’ your stupid ass was a mistake. But noooo, we had to be nice.”
“Where are Bowie and Cassidy?” I asked Mayor Hornsbladt.
“The newlyweds had a distinct sparkle in their eyes and called it a night about five minutes ago. I think y’all’s parents are waving them off out front.”
At least the bride and groom weren’t here to witness Misty Lynn’s meltdown.
“C’mon, Gibs. It was always so good between us,” Misty Lynn mewled. She was a drunken mess. Her dress was grass-stained, and her hair was exploding out of the prom updo she’d fashioned.
“Never gonna happen, Misty Lynn,” Gibson growled. He let her go, but she latched herself to him like a needy barnacle on the indifferent hull of a ship.
“Jameson, Jonah? Wanna help a guy out?” Gibson asked through gritted teeth as he tried to dislodge her.
“Oh, I’ll help you out,” Scarlett said, striding over and grabbing a fistful of Misty Lynn’s hair. “Now you listen, and you listen good, Misty Lynn. You ain’t never gonna be good enough for my brother. And now that your daddy and Jonah’s mama are gettin’ serious, you can’t try to lure him into your soggy sheets. You’ll be kin if they get married. Brother and sister.”
“It’s not true!” Misty Lynn howled. Even drunk, she at least had an idea of how genetics worked.
“Stop making a fool of yourself in front of the entire town and grow some goddamn self-respect!” Scarlett said, keeping hold of the other woman’s hair.
Misty Lynn took a swing at Scarlett but missed. Scarlett released her grip on the hair and watched her opponent sway.
“Y’all think you’re so high and mighty. But you’re not!” Misty Lynn slurred. “Your daddy was a murderer, and your mama was nothing but a loser. People feel sorry for you. They pity you,” she spat out. “And you know what? They’re all secretly scared that one day, someone is gonna push your buttons and you’re gonna snap. Just like your daddy.”
She did a slow turn around our circle until she faced me. “And you. Your daddy didn’t even want you. Yet here you are beggin’ for scraps.”
“Misty Lynn, that’s enough,” Shelby said coolly. She had a drink in each hand.
“Oh, I’m just gettin’ started,” Misty Lynn sneered. “I’m just gonna keep tellin’ the truth that everyone else around here is too scared to say. That Gibson always looks like he’s five seconds away from murderin’ someone. Or that Scarlett’s gonna wind up with a drinkin’ problem just like her daddy.”
“Misty Lynn,” Gibson said. His voice snapped out like the crack of a whip. “Hear me. We will never be together again. I regret every moment of my time with you when I was too young and too dumb to recognize that you were just a user.”
She stumbled back like he’d struck her. “You don’t mean that, Gibson Bodine.”
“You don’t even know what it’s like have real feelings for someone,” Gibson said, his face twisting into a mask of frustration. “You string that poor bastard Rhett Ginsler along just to discard him when you get bored. That’s not sexy. That’s not attractive. That’s fucking sad. You’re fucking sad. I tolerate you because you’re a Bootlegger. Because we grew up together. But you will never be anything more to me.”
“Well, fuck you then,” she shrieked. “Fuck all of you, dumb fucking losers!”
The music picked back up, and so did the conversations of all the witnesses. It wasn’t the craziest thing Bootleg had seen at a wedding. Not by a long shot.
Misty Lynn turned and stumbled out of the yard. Shelby sent me an apologetic look and set the drinks down on an empty table. She headed in the direction Misty Lynn fled.
Maybe a good psychological talking to would help. I doubted it. But Shelby didn’t like to see anyone in pain. Not even a man-eating monster like Misty Lynn.
I checked the front of the house first to make sure that Bowie and Cassidy were actually gone and didn’t accidentally run down a drunken Misty Lynn on their