me. “Well, we seem to always find room for our most valued parishioners.”
“And aren’t we fortunate for that?” Another thump, and I scooped the nun’s shoulders under my arm and turned her in the opposite direction. “I wanted to light a candle while I’m here. Could you show me where I can do that, Sister …”
“Eleanor. Yes, certainly, child,” she answered gently.
“My sister, she’s having a baby soon,” I started, following her lead.
“What a gift,” Sister Eleanor cooed. “The welcoming of a child is a joyous thing indeed. If you just go past here and turn, you’ll see the candles there. I’ll say a prayer of my own for your sister and her baby. May God bless them and keep them.”
“Thank you,” I said, turning to face her so I could sneak a look back at the confession booth just as the door opened.
Angelika slinked out, adjusting her skirt, followed by Jordan, hands adjusting his pants. In the midst of rehearsing the brimstone speech I was about to lash them with—I mean, serious, scorched earth, end of days tongue lashing—she reached back for his hand with the deepest affection in her eyes. And he returned it with adoration, the connection between them visible, palpable, even from across the room.
Stunt or no stunt, sinners or snakes, those assholes had found love. Real, honest love. A deep thrum of longing plucked in my chest. I sighed, the sound heavy with dreams lost and wishes I’d never have fulfilled.
Sister Eleanor watched me, worried. “Are you all right, dear?”
“I will be. Thank you, Sister.”
She patted my arm. “Of course,” she said before shuffling away.
Angelika and Jordan stepped up to the back of the Femmes, their absence unnoticed by everyone, except Natasha, who wore a look of disdain. She had something equally disdainful to say, judging by Angelika’s reaction to whatever she muttered. Sister Marilla was still going on—if I had to guess, about the organ. And with a quick moment to spare and the sense that I needed a beat, I ducked into the nook where the candles waited, glimmering in the dark.
Flickering flames in amber glass, a vision from a dream, the quiet to calm my screaming nerves. It took only a second, maybe two, before calm washed over me.
An absent hand slipped into my purse, returning with a bill I folded and slid into the donation box. A taper in my fingers, I stepped to the row, finding an unlit candle. I wasn’t a religious woman, ruled more by logic than anything, and faith seemed far away, a fanciful feeling. But there in reverent silence, I lit a candle, watched the wick catch fire, felt the tranquility of intention as I wished for peace of my own. And then, I placed the taper where it belonged, smoking in wait for the next soul who needed saving.
10
Sausage, Please
LILA
My sigh weighed a thousand pounds as I paid the cabbie and stepped onto Bleecker. The day had been eternal, the fiasco at St. Patrick’s exhausting. We’d made it out of the church without further incident, and no one was the wiser. The priest had given his blessing, just like we’d known he would, and I’d parted ways with the Felix Femmes with plans to meet for lunch in a few days to go over finishing touches on Natasha’s birthday party.
The way Brock had talked last week, they were still seeing each other. He’d probably be at the party, as would I, and there was no way for me to pass the task to someone else. I couldn’t admit what had happened to Addison without her using it against me, and although we had access to interns, there wasn’t a single one I’d trust with a Felix event.
So I’d endure it. I’d compartmentalize my feelings, pack them up, stow them away, and get on with it so I could do my job. So I could crush my job. I’d throw her the best goddamn birthday party to ever come out of New York despite the fact that she’d fucked my boyfriend.
Post-church, I’d gone on with my day, meeting with a caterer, stopping into the office for a meeting and to answer to Addison. And my last task of the day was to pop into Longbourne, where I’d become a regular fixture.
My purpose was twofold: take a look at the flower crop for a wedding this weekend and escort my very pregnant sister home. I’d been thinking about that pizza all week, and I’d convinced Ivy to