Gifting Me To His Best Friend - Katee Robert Page 0,46
worrisome. “Better see who it is.” I have no business hoping. Absolutely no business letting that feeling blossom in my chest.
He presses the button to call down to the front door. “Yeah?”
“I’d like to talk.”
The blood rushes out of my head at the sound of Derek’s voice, even tinny from the speaker. He’s here. I turn back to the table with my planners and start to put them to rights. Anything to keep my hands busy as Grayson buzzes him up. I can’t believe this is happening. Except I don’t know what is happening. He might be stopping by to tell us to our faces that he never wants to see us again. That we broke our friendship with him irrevocably when we crossed the line Christmas Eve.
By the time Grayson opens the door for Derek, I’ve got all my things picked up. It feels like a mistake because now I have nothing to do with my hands. I wrap my arms around myself and drink in the sight of him.
He looks good. Really, really good. He’s trimmed his beard and he’s wearing his customary jeans and T-shirt that’s just fitted enough to show off his shoulders and chest and presses lightly to the curve of his stomach. He looks at Grayson and then at me, his expression carefully guarded. “I was hoping we could talk.”
Grayson motions to the living room. “Sit.”
Derek takes the chair. Grayson and I sink onto the couch across from him. My husband’s hand finds mine, and I give him what I hope is a reassuring squeeze. The silence stretches out for several long beats, a tangled messy thing that none of us seem all that inclined to break.
Finally, Derek curses. “What would it even look like? If we went for this?”
The rushing in my head nearly drowns out Grayson’s careful response. He’s holding my hand tightly enough to hurt, but his body language is otherwise relaxed. Like he’s afraid of spooking Derek. “We feel it out as we go. We keep communication open and talk to each other.” A brief smile touches his lips. “We fuck.”
Derek looks at me. “That’s too simple. There’s no way it’ll be that easy.”
Grayson takes a slow breath. “No one says it’ll be easy. It won’t. Relationships can be challenging with two people, let alone three. But I’m willing to work through it in order not to lose what we started in Colorado. I can’t promise that things won’t be hard, but I can promise I’ll work through whatever comes up.”
“And if it blows up in our faces?”
That startles a ragged laugh from me. “Have you been enjoying the last few days since Christmas, Derek? Because we sure as hell haven’t.”
His eyes go soft. “No, Emma. I haven’t enjoyed the last few days, either.”
“We crossed too many lines to go back.” I hate that it’s true, but it is true. “The only way is forward. Can’t we at least try? Would that be so bad?”
Derek scrubs his hands over his face. “What about the future? I want kids.”
“So do we,” I say slowly. I hadn’t even considered how that would look, but the thought of raising kids with the three of us sends a jolt through me that’s entirely too intoxicating. “Eventually.”
Grayson snorts. “Probably sooner, rather than later.”
“And what about events for work and all the shit that goes with raising a kid. You don’t think people are going to notice that there are three of us?”
I shake my head slowly. “Derek.”
“What?”
“Since when do you give a fuck what anyone else thinks? If we make it work, if we’re happy, then the rest of the world can jump off a bridge for all I care. Our household is the only thing that matters.”
His shoulders slump a little. “It won’t be that simple.”
“No, probably not.” Grayson shrugs. “But we won’t know until we try.” He hesitates the briefest of moments. “Do you want to try?”
Derek leans forward and props his elbows on his thick thighs. “Yes. I want to try.”
The air seems to rush out of the room. We stare at each other for a long moment before Derek continues. “I can’t go back to being on the outside looking in. This wasn’t the plan I had for my life, the partner and equivalent of white picket fence and kids and dog and all that shit. But if I haven’t found someone who can compare to the two of you in the last eight years, I’m not going to be able