Ghosts in the Morning - By Will Thurmann Page 0,29

sweet corn. I could feel Graham’s eyes lasering into me each time I put my wine glass to my lips, so I stayed silent for the rest of the meal, nodding occasionally at the fatuous talk between the bimbos - fake tanning, clothes and palates seemed to be the main topics – as the men droned on about audits and banking regulations and derivatives, and which team was going to win the Premier League, or maybe it was the Champions League, but I didn’t care either way, and I could feel my eyelids grow heavy. It was a relief as I cleared the dessert plates; I had chosen to make my special homemade tiramisu that I was immensely proud of - I knew it was good as one of Graham’s Italian clients had once come round for dinner and pronounced it ‘bellissima’ - but I noticed that the girls didn’t touch it. They didn’t even lift their spoons to their sour little mouths. ‘Moment on the lips, lifetime on the hips,’ Debbie had squealed, and I thought I should push mine away too, but then I thought sod them, and I had cleaned my plate, every last little bit.

And it was a relief too, when I cleared the coffee cups and I knew that the guests would be leaving soon. I didn’t want to look at them anymore, didn’t want to have to make any more small talk, I was a little bit giddy, yes, for sure, a little bit drunk. I felt so inadequate in the face of these oh-so-clever men with their oh-so-pretty, oh-so-skinny wives and I felt so small inside, yet so large on the outside. I was an upside-down iceberg.

And just as they were leaving, just as I was checking in the dining room to see if dopey Debbie had left her purse in there - before she realised that it was in her coat pocket - I heard Matt’s arrogant voice.

‘So, Graham, do you still have that secretary, er, what’s her name now...?’

‘Er, do you mean – ’

‘You mean Nikki...Nikki with the big tits?’ Piers interrupted.

‘Nikki, yes, that’s the one, great pair of bazookas. Lovely arse, too, as I recall. Bit of a shame, I didn’t see her at the office today.’ Matt said.

They were trying to speak in low voices, but they were using the whispers of drunk people, thinking that they couldn’t be heard, but I could hear them clearly. Every bloody word. Lindy, Katherine and Debbie appeared to be completely oblivious to the conversation, they were flapping about and giggling as they searched for Debbie’s purse, wobbling around on their silly high heels.

‘Yes, she’s not too bad a secretary either,’ Piers said. ‘I mean, I understand she’s very good at dick-taking, isn’t that right, Graham...er, sorry, Freudian slip there, I mean dictation of course.’

Matt and Piers cackled simultaneously and then Graham’s voice. ‘Yes, very funny guys, very funny, but shut up, for God’s sake, that’s how bloody rumours start. You know what the bloody office grapevine can be like.’

‘Calm down, Graham, son, calm down. Well, in the words of the late, great Marvin Gaye, I heard it through the grapevine,’ Matt sung the phrase, and continued to hum the tune.

‘Found it!’ Debbie screeched. ‘Oh, what a silly wally I am! it was in my coat pocket all along.’ She giggled again and then she started to join in with the tune, but she was singing the words to the song rather than humming, and then Katherine and Lindy joined in, and soon they were all singing the song at the tops of their drunken slurry voices, Graham too.

The guests left still singing as they walked down the drive towards their taxi, and the door slammed on its knackered hinges, and I went straight to bed.

Chapter 8

‘Andy, it’s me. What are you doing tonight?’

‘I, um, I , um, hi Anita, I um, I don’t know, why, what –’ I glanced at the bedside clock, rubbing my eyes. I must have overslept, I was usually awake early, perhaps a little too much wine...

‘Good, so you’ve nothing planned. Right, we’re going out.’

‘What, I, well, no I hadn’t planned to, look I’m just awake, I’m-’

‘I’ve got a taxi booked for seven, so I’ll pick you up on the way at about quarter past.’

‘What? On the way...I mean, on the way to where?’

‘To town, Andy, obviously. You know, we mentioned it at lunch the other day, said we’d have a night out together. It’ll do you good.’

‘But,