keep on coming for you until you forgive me or you force me to leave.”
Jake didn’t know how to tell Rielle that right now he was doing the most fucked up thing he’d ever done in his life. Pushing her away, without knowing how to stop himself. They were both breathing heavily now, as though each new breath taken was enough to keep them separated. He shook his head again and again, he couldn’t hear himself think through the goddamn roaring, through the crippling panic.
It was kiss or kill all over again. He had the choice. She was one incredible woman, provoking two extreme responses. She stood there, taking responsibility, facing up to his anger, admitting her fault, and giving him one last chance to jump into this thing and not fuck it up forever.
She was in his heart; she was in his head; she was his true north and he was so fucking lost without her, afraid his life would be pale and empty and half lived. He hated her. He loved her. He’d forgive her anything. He jumped.
“What you see is what you get, Rie.” He gasped. “I’m not like you, I can’t be anything else, I’m just this ordinary man.”
“There’s nothing ordinary about you, Jake. I want you. I don’t want anything else.” She pushed against his chest. “I need you to understand. I only hurt you because I loved you, because I didn’t believe I could change and I didn’t want to destroy you.”
Rielle looked up, and the honesty Jake saw in the depth of her green eyes took his doubt and gave it moth wings to fly away.
“This new you, do I get it all or just what you choose to show me?”
“All of me Jake, the goddess and the bitch.”
“I love them both. I always did. But if you ever shut me out like that again, I will kill you,” he said roughly, pulling Rielle into his arms. He crushed her hard against his chest and tucked her close to his frantic, panicked heart. He curled his fist in her hair, dragging her head back until he was kissing her with no restraint and the roaring in his head dissolved into notes of sweet music.
There were no more if onlys.
Jake’s kiss woke the fire in Rielle, changed the nature of the burn. No longer retribution’s price, no longer scalding her painfully, but lighting her where her body met his, inflaming her passion and igniting her future.
This was everything. What this man made her feel and only this man. And this is what she wanted. A chance to build a life and a home with this man who made her feel safe, who made her feel whole, who would challenge her and question her, love her and comfort her. And who’d let her be herself in ways she was only beginning to discover, in ways he’d always known were possible.
She knew they weren’t there yet. They weren’t anywhere together yet except bathed in hurt and soaped in tentative longing. But this was forgiveness. This was a fresh green start. And if they believed in each other, if they could learn each other all over again, they had a chance to spin something wonderful.
Straightening up to look at her, Jake passed a hand over his face. “I’m dreaming, right?” He rubbed his eyes, glassy with unshed tears. “I’m going to wake up and this is all going to be a nightmare I dredged up from the black pit of missing you like a phantom limb.” He sighed, and Rielle felt the weight of months of unrealised anguish in his voice. “Tell me you’re real, Arielle Mainline?”
She pressed both hands on Jake’s heart, trying to take a steady beat from him to settle her breath, to stop herself shaking. “I thought I’d lost you forever and that would be my punishment for hurting you.” She looked up at him, seeing his raw anticipation. “I love you so much it’s my reason to live, Jake Reed.” She thumped his chest as if to nail that truth to him, to brand him with her belief. “I’ll be your dream, I’ll be your worst nightmare, and I promise you I’ve never been more real.”
The End
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Grease Monkey Jive
by Ainslie Paton
A romance about changing the game, finding the truth, and fancy footwork.
When ballroom teacher Alex Gibson dances with Dan Maddox she’s reminded of the time she stuck a knife in the toaster, gave herself an electric shock, and