tightly clenched jaw. “Anyway, I heard you at the pub. And I then got it again from my fucking mother. Did you tell her you fucked me over before or after you offered her money?” he snapped, then grinned savagely when she flinched. “Never mind, you’ve done your duty. I heard you. Go home.”
Rielle stood in a circle of light in the passageway outside Jake’s flat. She thought he might slam the door on her. She stood her ground. Anything less than making him understand she was sorry was unacceptable, anything more was unfathomable.
“You haven’t heard me.”
“I heard nothing from you for ten months and now I’ve heard enough.”
There was ice in his stare; there were knives in his truth. She toughed it out. “You wanted to see me. I hoped we might talk.”
“What can we possibly have to talk about?”
“I think you have a lot to say.”
A muscle in Jake’s cheek jumped. He stood with one hand grasping the doorjamb, one fist furled rigid by his side, the knuckles white. He closed his eyes. “I have nothing to say to you.”
Rielle moved fast. She ducked through the door frame and under Jake’s arm making him spin around to face her, making him slam the door and shout, “You can’t be here,” at the same time he was ensuring she stayed.
“Why?” she shouted back. This was where she wanted to be, facing his anger, taking her punishment.
Both hands came up to his head. “Because I can’t take this. I can’t take you.”
“Why?” she baited him.
“You know why.”
Rielle had her hands on her hips, her wolf woman warrior pose, ready for anything. Ready to bleed if that’s what it took to prove herself to him. “If I’ve already broken you, what harm can I do now?” Her voice was hard, her own anger, born of fear, now coming to the surface.
Jake stood with his back against the door, the tension in his shoulders popping the muscles in his neck and arms.
“Rand once told me if I broke you I’d have to pay. Well, here I am, Jake. Make me pay.”
In one blink he was in front of her, aggressively towering over her, forcing her to jerk her head up to see his face. “Are you seriously trying to kill me?” he shouted, face contorted.
She looked into his eyes, so dark and hard. “I’m trying to explain.”
“I thought I got you. I was so fucking wrong. I thought you were a goddess, but you’re a heartless bitch.”
She sucked in a breath. “I’m sorry.”
“You were cruel and deceitful and vindictive.”
“I was all that and I’m sorry.”
“You took away all the things that made sense to me.”
She said, “I’m sorry,” and she’d keep on saying it until he heard it and understood it. Jake was breathing heavily as though his lungs were full of water, as though he might drown in his anger. “You stole my sleep, you gave me endless nights.”
“I wanted you to forget me. You weren’t supposed to love me so much. I’m sorry.”
“Fucking hell. How could I forget you? You were my fixed point, my sanity.”
She said, “I didn’t understand and I’m sorry,” and she’d keep on saying it until he let her love him again, even if it took the rest of her life. She had no idea what else she was meant to live for.
Jake was being a fuckwit and he knew it and he couldn’t stop it happening. He wanted to shake Rielle til she rattled. Shake her til everything he loved about her was sprayed all over the floor where he could stamp on it, crush it once and for all, and never need to feel like this again—like he was being ripped in two, like he might never be a whole man again.
“You—” There was a roar building in his head and heat filling his body. He couldn’t look at her anymore, look at the tears filming her eyes or watch her breath coming in snatches as he beat her down with his words. He recognised how close to tears he was himself and turned away. “I can’t forgive you.”
Rielle stepped up close behind him. He could smell her perfume, not the complex fragrance of cosmetics, something simpler and softer. She put her hands against his back and God help him, he shifted his weight into her palms.
“I’m sorry, Jake. I get it.”
His voice shook when he said, “I wanted to forgive you. I thought I could. I don’t have it in me.”