Getting Lucky - Jennifer Lazaris Page 0,27

You better get your shit together and soon, because that wasn’t you out there. Everyone, including Coach, is starting to notice you’re distracted. You aren’t thinking about hockey when you’re out on the ice, that’s for damn sure.”

Ryder ignored him and headed for the shower. He ignored the press and their questions, too. He maintained respectful relationships with many of the local sports reporters, but tonight he wasn’t in the mood to deal with them.

What was he supposed to say? That he stunk up the ice out there? He knew it, the team knew it and the fans definitely knew it. It didn’t bear repeating.

Poor sleep had been a huge factor in his performance. He’d been plagued with both dreams of Danielle’s death and his night with Zoe.

When he dreamed of Danielle, it was always the same: the final moments at her bedside in the hospital, when the beeping machines became one long, endless beep as the life left her body. He always woke up screaming, gripped in the throes of grief, the moment as painful as it had been seven years ago.

If he dreamed of Zoe, he woke up sweaty and anxious, with a raging hard-on.

He stepped into the shower and let the hot spray relax his tense muscles.

After Danielle died, he’d gotten dependent on sleeping pills to get through the night without nightmares. An accident of mixing pills and alcohol had shed light on his dependency. A Montreal teammate had found him face down on the floor of his hotel room, unresponsive. It took a thirty-day stint in rehab to kick the habit. It had scared him enough to swear off sleeping aids for life.

Now, faced with the nightmares again, he’d given up all caffeine and exhausted himself to the point where he should sleep like a goddamn baby. He had massive anxiety about it all, and tonight’s game only heaped on more stress.

Zoe’s continuous rejections were getting to him. Everything in his life had been turned upside down because of one damn night with her. Having sex with her had opened a door to his past that now refused to close. The memories seeped into his life on a daily basis, and he didn’t know how to stop them. He hadn’t dreamed of Danielle in six years. Now, it was every fucking night.

He hadn’t seen Zoe for two weeks. He’d visited a few women during a stretch of road games this week to get his mind off of her. He figured he’d have a bit of fun and get some stress relief. It had been a complete no-go. He hadn’t been able to muster up enthusiasm for any of them.

Scenarios that should have excited him left him completely bored and uninterested. He’d tried to have conversations with some of the women, just to see if he could get things rolling. They’d stared at him, completely confused.

He understood their confusion. He didn’t do small talk and they knew it. When it came to sex he got down to business.

Lately, he seemed to be going out of business. And it all came back to Zoe.

If she’d just say yes, he didn’t think he’d be going through any of this right now. He craved her like a goddamn drug and it was making him crazy. Getting another taste of their chemistry only made him want her more.

It twisted him up inside.

Fally was right. He needed to get his shit together and fast.

***

Later, while sitting at Callahan’s having his post-game meal, Fally pulled a bar stool next to him. “What’s the deal, Irish?”

“Nothing. I told you. Bad game.”

Fally slid a beer in front of Ryder. “Come on man. Enough with this shit. That wasn’t you out there tonight. Something’s wrong.”

Ryder tossed down his fork and stared at his friend. “I haven’t been with anyone for over a week now.”

“Why not?” Fally asked, stealing a French fry from Ryder’s plate.

“I’ve made some attempts. But I’m not into it. This hasn’t happened before.”

“Can’t get it up, eh?”

“I’m just not interested, douchebag. I call a woman, and when we finally get together, I’m not in the mood.”

“Why don’t you call Zoe? I’m sure you’d have no problem finding a stiff breeze with her.”

“You’re such an asshole,” Ryder told him. He took a swig of beer and shook his head.

“No, I’m not. You haven’t been the same since you met her. You were acting weird the night I called and she was at your house. Then, you practically steamrolled Eli when he tried to make